Japanese un-news of the year!

160px-Square_watermelonThe savior of lazy news reporter at deadline who is supposed to be covering Japan is a quick story is SQUARE WATERMELONS (Wiki).

Square watermelon shipments begin in western Japan city
Kyodo News | 2017-June-28
Square-shaped watermelon shipments began Wednesday in a western Japan city where the product has become widely known for its rarity and is attracting interest even from overseas.
The watermelons shipped from Zentsuji on Japan’s Shikoku main island are not edible and purchased generally as ornaments

A few of our many other square watermelon reports include:

  • Square Watermelons ‘All the Rage’ in Japan (not) (news.3yen.com/2014-06-29/square-watermelons-all-the-rage-in-japan-not)
  • ‘Deko’ melons of Japan (news.3yen.com/2011-03-11/deko-melons-of-japan)
  • How do you like these melons? (news.3yen.com/2009-06-14/how-do-you-like-these-melons/)
  • Godzilla Eggs (http://news.3yen.com/2005-09-05/dynamite-vs-godzilla-eats)

    Heart me!


    Dressed in the Heart Sutra and a Japanese fundoshi-cum-loincloth, this young lady is heart-fully enjoying life.

    Previous reports of heartfullness on the 3Yen include:


    The Pope-hats return

    Once again, Japan’s Pope-hats have mysteriously reappeared…

    Even more mysterious is that one of the Getty photos is labeled as “Japanese fans dressed as Skittles” which sounds odd since Skittles candy made by Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company is not at all popular in Japan. Then I remembered the archaic game of Skittles from which bowling originated. Pope Hats makes more sense.
    japanese-pope-hats animated
    japanese-pope-hats animated

    A few of the other many appearances of the mysterious Popeheads include:

    • Pope hats clash! (Japan loses) (news.3yen.com/2014-06-25/pope-hats-clash)
    • The AWESOMENESS — Japan’s Olympic Pope hats (news.3yen.com/2012-08-02/the-awesomeness-japans-olympic-pope-hats)
    • Pope hats and Pikachu — Japanese fans at the World Cup (news.3yen.com/2014-06-15/pope-hats-and-pikachu-japanese-fans-at-the-world-cup)
    • Japan’s Pope-hats vs Vile vuvuzela (news.3yen.com/2010-06-17/japans-pope-hats-at-world-cup-beat-all-the-vile-vuvuzela/)


    Good day for ducks

    It is the rainy season in Japan and public bath/sento of Shibata, Niigata is having a Good day for ducks.

    新潟浴場組合【湯快券配布中】‏ @niigata268
    あすはアヒル風呂/ 日時:第3日曜6月18日 / 場所:新発田市いいでの湯 / 効能:たのしい。

    rubber duckie bath

    A duck bath is held on Sunday (weekly in July and August, other times carried out every 1st 3rd every other Sunday)

    Details of the ducky sento: niigata268.com/public_bath


    Rubber Duckie in Japan has appeared many times on the 3Yen including:

    • ♫ Rubber Duckie you’re the one…the giant radioactive mutant one (news.3yen.com/2011-10-23/rubber-duckie-youre-the-one-the-giant-radioactive-mutant-one/)
    • Doing the duck mouth (news.3yen.com/2010-01-28/doing-the-duck-mouth/)
    • The Captain of Duck(tm) rubber lover (news.3yen.com/2005-11-09/the-captain-of-ducktm-rubber-lover/)




    Wreck me, plee-e-ease.



    解体中の友達の家にお邪魔 — 美岳 (@_MITAKE_) June 16, 2017


    quoter leftHomewreckerquoter right   defined.

    Also check out our other demolishing reports of:

    • Cruel clogs … red of course (news.3yen.com/2014-04-13/cruel-clogs-tokyos-hooker-parade)
    • World’s tallest demolition machine from Japan (news.3yen.com/2005-10-23/worlds-tallest-demolition-machine-from-japan)
    • Get your Japan news here on the 3Yen one week before… (news.3yen.com/2005-10-30/get-your-japan-news-here-on-the-3yen-one-we)


    Really high-tech Japanese elevator


    elevator-japan copy
    — Thøm Black (@ThomBlack777) June 17, 2017


    Obviously, this is a fancy elevator for Japan’s high-tech hoverchairs (defined).
    xavier flying chair

    Previous elevating reports on the 3Yen include:

    • Japanese ‘Elevator Day’…w0Ot! (news.3yen.com/2016-11-10/today-is-japanese-elevator-day-w0ot/)
    • Unobsolete Occupations — Japanese elevator girl (news.3yen.com/2010-03-07/obsolete-occupations/ )
    • The elevating Mysteries of the Orient (news.3yen.com/2012-12-05/the-elevating-mysteries-of-the-orient/)


    Delusional-mapping in Japan

    This new “Delusional-mapping” T-shirt is a great solution to the general titlessness of the Japanese.


    Delusional-mapping T-shirt
    (goofy Google Translate of ekodworks.com)
    [sic] The “Illusion grid” of this T-shirt is a unique delusional mapping technology inflates the grid pattern on the front with a full breast and creates a sense of volume. There is no doubt that people’s attention will be gathered!? The concept of “the wind that looks swollen at the chest” print T-shirt.


    A few of our many previous itty-bitty titty reports include:

    • Cool, fishy, Japanese titties (news.3yen.com/2012-05-10/cool-fishy-japanese-titties/)
    • Japan’s public broadcaster NHK TV apologizes for bad titties (news.3yen.com/2007-01-02/japan-tv-apologises-for-bad-titties/)
    • tiny ‘n’ toxic (news.3yen.com/2007-09-05/tiny-n-toxic/)
    • japanese titty time (news.3yen.com/2006-09-23/japanese-titty-time/)
    • The banned Pokemon episode (news.3yen.com/2006-02-11/the-banned-pokemon-episode/)


    Japan develops snake-like strap-on robot

    In an effort to compensate for Japan’s years of continued low rankings in world condom size..Japan develops a snake-like strap-on robot to help in bedroom disasters.


    Japanese team develops snake-like strap-on to help in disasters
    ft-logoThe Japan Times | June 12, 2017
    SENDAI — A research team says it has developed a snake-like strap-on robot that can climb over debris and rubble by shooting a jet of air to lift its front end from the ground


    A few of our previous reports of the hinky robots of Japan include:

    • R.I.P. PEPPER robot (news.3yen.com/2017-05-29/r-i-p-japans-pepper-robot/)
    • The ‘I-Fairy‘ robot — obviously from Japan (3Yen / )
    • Well hung ‘robot’ (news.3yen.com/2008-02-19/well-hung-robot/)




    In English, there has been only one “newspaper of record”—only one paper in English that counts: The Japan Times.
    Now, The Japan Times has been bought by “News2uHD,” a minor press release/SEO company.

    The Japan Times joins News2uHD Group
    japan times textMore…

    Since 1897, The Japan Times has been the main way the world learned of Japan. This has become especially true now that all the major news bureaus like the New York Times and the Financial Times have moved out of Japan and rely on dubious local news translations and poorly-paid stringers.

    Just a little more tham two decades ago, Tokyo had four, vibrant, English-language daily newspapers: The Japan Times, The Daily Yomiuri, The Mainichi Daily News, and The Asahi Shimbun. The Mainichi Daily News stopped printing almost 15 years ago and now has a minor daily news site. The Asahi Shimbun in English for the past decade just reposts content from the International Herald Tribune and doesn’t put much effort into translating Japanese news. The English Daily Yomiuri closed in 2010. The Japan Times was the only real English paper left—Japanese news in English will slow to a trickle and that will help Japan to continue to fade—ジャパンナッシング.

    In case you’re curious about it, the name and masthead of The Japan Times has had a long, 120-year “evolution.”

    Oh and about the title: “ALL THE NEWS WITHOUT TEARS OR FLAVOR©

    Since 1956, the editorial motto* on the masthead of The Japan Times has been, “All the news without fear or favor”, the motto on the masthead of the Japan Times has been, “All the news without fear or favor”, which has led to endless jokes about “flavorless” news…sadly now that’s going to be all too real.

    japan times press release


    Vegging out on shoes

    Shoes of fruits and vegetables adorn the cover of this month’s GINZA magazine—a special art piece by Yoshida UNI.



    A few of our zillion previous reports Japan’s “cruel shoes” include:

    • Cruelly cute shoes . . . from Japan of course (news.3yen.com/2016-02-18/cruelly-cute-shoes-from-japan-of-course/)
    • Hello Shoes(tm) (news.3yen.com/2015-02-08/hello-shoestm/)
    • Cruel clogs … Tokyo’s hooker parade (news.3yen.com/2014-04-13/cruel-clogs-tokyos-hooker-parade/)