The Japanese actress, Haruka Ayase (Wiki), had a sex change to celebrate Colonel Sanders’ birthday at KFC today September 9th throughout Japan.

Boys Day

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Although it is non-news* and only a Japanese-American flight of fancy, this “urban jewelry” by Emiko Oye is an amazing bit of recycled magic in that the Japanese model’s privates seem to be M.I.A..

*This jewelry codpiece, aptly named, “Population Control 2.0,” is from the artist’s 2008 collection and its story was covered last February much more amusingly by inventorspot.com:
Sexy Eco-friendly Love Thong and Not So Sexy Eco-Friendly Boxers

For more information read the report on The San Francisco Chronicle | August 11, 2010:
…Popluation Control 2.0 by Emiko Oye of San Francisco, who creates urban jewelry and sculptures from recycled materials like Legos and circuit boards, in combination with precious metals and gemstones…more…

According the Japan Meteorological Agency, Tokyo’s tepid typhoon today, No. 9 (R) is just a whippy windbag, but it is still blowing out umbrellas all over town right now.

However, I saw on the lunchtime news on TBS (Goggle Translate) this badass (BLUNT) brolly that can withstand winds of more than 117 km/h (73 mph) and also prevents gouging out the eyes of passersby with the tips. Watch the video below.

Throughout the TV news report they did not make any mention about the fact that the product was of alien origin!

All the product information provided by the TBS TV (shown on the left) was in Japanese, as was the price, 6,300 yen.

Then I noticed an English button on the shopping website and I discovered that the (BLUNT) and the above video came from New Zealand (refer to Gizmag.com).

This theme of umbrellas in today’s Tokyo rains reminds me of the kinky poster campaign of the Tokyo Metro* warning folks not to “PISTON” in the station (3Yen.com | 2009-06-15).

Find Basjohn’s “Prior Art” in the comments…

Previous 3Yen reports on the weird-n-wonderful umbrella culture of Japan include:
. . . —Samurai sword umbrella!
. . . —Bladerunner-eque Electric Umbrella
. . . —Umbrella golf on the Tokyo trains
. . . —Internet porn umbrella from Japan
. . . — Umbrella condom dispenser

The Tokyo Metro outdid themselves with their “train manner” (sic) poster for September (official site).

design cues by basjohn

In the crush of Tokyo’s crowded trains that run at 150-250% of standing room capacity, oddly somehow there’s always an empty seat next to a gaijin/alien. While having that extra space is pleasant, the implication of The Empty Seat can be grating as my fellow blogger, “Loco” explains…

Find many more examples of the gaijin seat phenomenon in the Comments section…

The 3Yen has covered Japanese tattoos several times before such as the Greenpeace Tats or the tattooed Booth babe barcode →.

However, none of that other ink was as awesome as this soldier’s “Japanese” skin illustration….

U.S. Air Force Tech Sergeant Geoff Gerencer
….Believe it or not, Gerencer insists that he's not even such a big Simpsons fan. “I wanted to change up the Japanese style a bit,” he says.

via Wired.com — Danger Room | September 4, 2010 |
The Ink Of War: Afghanistan Air Base’s Best Tattoos

prior art….

Convenience store robber wearing disposable diapers on his head takes 140,000 yen — South Korean man arrested
*machine-translated Jiji3Yen News | September 5, 2010

Nerima Ward, Tokyo– Last week a robber burst into a convenience store and escaped with 140,000 yen the according to the Shakujii-district police. The robbery suspect was a 55 year old South Korean^[1] creatively named “Kim.”

According to the police, Kim burst into the store wearing disposable diapers over his head with holes for his eyes. Kim was said to be using adult diapers on a daily basis because he was suffering from a urinary stones^[2] .

At around 5:02 am on August 25, at a Nerima convenience store the suspect theatened the store’s male clerk with a knife by chasing, stabbing at him and yelling in English^[3], “Money, Money!” before being caught while escaping with all the store’s cash of 140,000 yen [about $1,660 USD].　

The rest-of-the-story subtext of this Diaper-Man news report makes this more interesting…

^[1] Most likely Diaper-Man was a 2nd generation Korean born and raised in Japan as as member of a despised Korean underclass (Wiki).

^[2]The Tokyo heat wave (3Yen | 2010-09-02) of the past months would have wildly increased the number and agony of Diaper-Man’s urinary stones (Wiki), which I have heard some mothers describe as more painful than their childbirth.

^[3] Japanese robbers in Japan often use English in their crimes to throw the police off their trail and give the foreigner-hating Japanese police an excuse to round up foreigners as suspects. In this case, the robber used English because the Japanese store clerk would otherwise immediately recognize that the robber spoke native Japanese and was born and raised in Japan.

* Fair use — Parody —
This extract from the Japanese
vernacular press has been
loosely translated/summarized
under the principle of “fair use”
and so is the Japanese Captain
Underpants picture composite.

..

UPDATE:
JapanProbe.com has posted a news video of the Diaper-Man caper and this piece of dorky 2ch ASCII art.

Here’s a YouTube parody of Alcot’s “My girlfriend is the PRESIDENT” including Putin snogging Kim Jong Il and the Pope.

And here’s the original “My girlfriend is the PRESIDENT” (I think).

Since the 3Yen blog software is broken, I thought I would repost stuff from my friend’s blogs, such as the Jersey Shore look has hit Japan….

Tokyo Damage Report | 2010/09/04: soul japan magazine,
…Japanese men have tried to adopt American rap apparel, with mixed results.
Now the purveyors of manly clothes are back, and they've found a much better American look:

THE DOUCHE.
…more..

One of the contributors to the 3Yen is having a baby, so I spent just an average Sunday afternoon shopping for infant gifts at Japanese toystores…

I really wanted to buy whatever this very friendly bunny was selling.

For reference: SylvanianFamilies.co.jp

The 3Yen is experiencing technical difficulties and I am having a hard time making new posts for the next few days.

I apologize for not being able to bring you our (ab)normal web content and ask that you to please put up with the inconvenience.