FaFa’s Oriental Woody

Oh dear…
oriental-woodylisa-sometimes_bigger Lisa Sometimes @MsLisaSometimes June 27, 2016



Wait. It gets better than the teddy bear character FaFa-kun‘s “Oriental Woody” (ファーファ オリエンタル ウッディ). He will, make it all white©″.

he-said-woodBEAVIS: Heh heh. Heh heh. He said WOOD. Heh heh.
BUTTHEAD: Hey Beavis. They like, UH-huh UH-huh UH-huh, they found your phallus. It’s two inches long. UH-huh. UH-huh. UH-huh.
   —from Beavis and Butthead, “The Mystery of Morning Wood


Previous puerile posts of Japanese “wood” include:



Welcome to Kenmin Kingdom of Noodly Nippon


Anthony d'Avis (@ozAntinnippon) June 25, 2016


(Goofy Google Translate of Wiki): Kenmin Foods Co., Ltd. of Kobe is a rice noodle manufacturer that is best known for its “Welcome to the Kenmin Kingdom” ad campaign. Kenmin’s ads are known for their eerie content and surreal product image.

Previous posts of Japan’s fun ads for very bent noodles include:



Steampunk Anpanman?

Monster truck, submarine, steampunk Anpanman: Why not?

steampunk-anpanman 【コンデレ】HIROFUMIXさんの『ワイルドアンパンマン号』。愛と勇気に溢れてます。ブラボー!富士通 乾電池提供 ミニ四駆ジャパンカップ2016 東京大会1コンクールデレガンスより。 — ミニ四駆(タミヤ) (@mini4wd) June 22, 2016

translated by bing[Condre] HIROFUMIX’s wild Anpanman issue. Filled with love and courage. Bravo! Fujitsu Batteries offer Mini Japan Cup 2016 East…Concours d’Elegance.

“Anpanman” is one of the most popular anime series with young children in Japan. Anpanman characters appear on virtually every imaginable children’s product, from clothes to video games to toys to snack foods. The Anpanman books have collectively sold over 50 million copies. –Wikipediaanpanman

Previous reports of Anpanman include:


  advertising -

The 2020 Tokyo Olympic BABY BIB is now on sale!

We all can now get the official 2020 Olympic DROOL BIB!
Ok, ok, the rest-of-the-story is the that the emblem of Tokyo’s 202o Olympics was first cursed with an embarrassing withdrawn for plagiarism (3Yen / 2015-07-25) .
Now they have a traditional Japanese design for the Paralympics that unfortunately looks like a drool bib (3Yen / 2016-04-25) for the severely disabled. Oh baby.






Everything in Japan needs a special mascot, even angry poles.

Previous dubious yuru-chara/loose-character_yuruchara/"loose character" mascots featured here include:


Shi-i-i-it! Lil’ Kim hit us finally

After a decade of Best Korea trying*, the lil’ Kim finally hit us!


Wreckage likely of North Korea rocket found in western Japan
Kyodo News | 2016/06/18
metallic wreckage (top) found June 16, 2016, on a beach in Tottori Prefecture, western Japan, and wreckage (bottom) recovered by South Korea after the Feb. 7 launch of a long-range rocket by North Korea.
(Photos via Tottori Prefecture/South Korean Ministry of National Defense)

cool_story__broWhile I was on vacation in Tohoku in north of Japan back in August 1998, “Best Korea” shot a missile that passed overhead and missed landing in Japan by only 150km.
I know, I know: Cool story bro.

Previous reports of Best Korea’s “Dong” missiles include:



‘Mount and ride me!!~’ —Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

Cool Japan's official cultural ambassador* and J-pop idol, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu (3Yen / 2013-03-06), now wants you to ride her. That is, Kyary aka Carrie wants you to mount and ride <snerk> her KPP Train on the Seibu railroad.


Check out Pamyu Pamyu’s knockknees.
She is not trying to just pose cutely. Many Japanese girls walk pigeon-toed (3Yen / 2013-03-06). This so-called charm point (チャームポイント) is called “O-legs / O-kyaku (脚矯正).


A few of our many previous puerile posts about Pamyu Pamyu’s include:

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu has become the paid poster child for Cool Japan's propaganda blitz. For example:

jpninfo.com Feb 24, 2016 —- In partnership with the government’s movement to promote the tourism industry in Japan under the slogan “Cool Japan,” Universal Studios Japan (USJ) has also come up with “Universal Cool Japan” to attract more tourists with the hottest pop culture trends in the country…more…

“Kyary” is deformed engrish for ‘Carrie’—Kyary Pamyu Pamyu’s full name is “Caroline Charonplop Kyary Pamyu Pamyu” (きゃろらいんちゃろんぷろっぷきゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ) {Wikipedia}.


‘Hail Mary: The Formation Book for the Mr. Untouchable’ of Japan

A long-time friend of the 3Yen reports…

So there's now a Japanese fashion magazine called Hail Mary: The Formation Book for Mr. Untouchable.
sublight-monster—The Hopeful Monster (@SublightMonster) 2016-06-08


hail-maryThe official website of “Hail Mary” for mens fashion describes its mission as:

…a Formation book for 'Mr. Untouchable' ... who wants to be the real man with intelligence and wild (sic) like James Bond or Indy Jones.″



Drip. Drop. Derp.

The Tokyo Metro Manners poster is all wet this month.
With much derp, the Tokyo Metro seems to want us to “drop” our umbrellas during Japan’s rain season (rather than taking care that our umbrellas don’t drip on others).



shinjuku_Tokyo_Metro_information_deskThe strange part of this Metro poster’s engrish mistake is that the Tokyo Metro has a complete staff of interpreters who work at the subway’s information desks. However, somehow all the people in the PR department who make the posters forgot to have someone check the poster’s English, sheesh.


Previous drippy reports of the rainy season in Japan include:




Pink poisonous ‘sushi’

A moment of silence please…
     …the inventor of poisonous spam musubi (sushi) has passed away.

Spam musubi lives on
Barbara Funamura, a woman of many talents, passes away at 78

The Garden Island | 2016-May-25
When Barbara Funamura created the first Spam musubi, she had no idea how popular it would become.
“There are Spam musubi everywhere,” said Dan Funamura, Barbara’s husband…She was described as a nutritionist (sic), entrepreneur, and the originator of the Spam musibi.


Possibly the worse food of the 20th Century, Spam sushi aka “Spam musubi” (Wiki) has poisoned Hawaiians for decades. Just look at it. Puke.spam-sushi

Our previous reports of dubious sushi include: