‘Sheep Impact’ — Steven Seagal’s latest blockbuster!

Sheep Impact‘ is a new film masterpiece starring Japan’s first gaijin/alien aikido master*, Steven Seagal, “as you!”

“Sheep Impact” is actually an Australian beer commercial. Don’t miss the two promotional invitations, “Snake” and “Sausage” commercials, with Seagal calling on Australians to submit their “true” story to be made into film with him, “as you playing the lead character.”

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Taro

I'm a pale, alien, quadruped who has worked for 25+ years at "Maybe-the-Largest Inc." in Tokyo.

6 thoughts on “‘Sheep Impact’ — Steven Seagal’s latest blockbuster!”

  1. I sense you are in great danger, Mr. Taro. It is all going according to plan. You shall soon face the wrath of my protege. I have taught him many of my tricks, such as “punches”, “knees”, “kicks”, and “gropes,” secret maneuvers known only to me and a group of 5th century Japanese monks or perhaps they were 12th century Siberian monks. Because of his training, my protege is entering a stage most dangerous. He has been subsisting solely on urine and 100% fruit juice Steven Seagal energy drinks for the past seven days or possibly months and he is hungry like the tiger.
    The ancient samurai say man cannot defeat tiger for tiger has unique physiological reaction to fighting. I assure you have poured everything into my protege’s training and I have at my disposal the fists of a ninja, the soul of a blues musician, a Japanese’s hunger for the poonani, the badge of a lawman, and the kimono of a big and tall store. You can never defeat me. Lay down your wrist bands and walk away while your honor is still intact or else me or my protege will be forced to thrash you.

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