Threat level up: Radioactive Japanese BEARS!!!

Glow-in-the-dark, asiatic black bears (R) roaming the dead zone around the Fukushima nuclear meltdown is like a mash-up of The Colbert Report’s campaign against those “Godless Killing Machines” pillaging our peaceful planet.
Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare now reports that this Ursine Evil has SEVEN times the Japanese limit: 100 becquerels of radiation per kilogram (100 Bq/Kg*).

760 Bq/Kg of cesium from Asian black bear in west coast of Japan
Fukushima Diary | November 9, 2012
According to the report of Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare, 760 Bq/Kg of cesium was measured from Asian black bear in Niigata prefecture
  Sample : Meat of Asian black bear
  Sampling date : 10/24/2012
     Cs-134 : 280 Bq/Kg
     Cs-137 : 480 Bq/Kg
  Location : Tokamachi city Niigata

Read about it for yourself in the report of Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare on page 28 (PDF in Japanese)…
report.pdf page-28-of-29..


Earlier warnings of the threat of Japanese bears on the 3Yen include:
   • Care-giving Robot Bears! (3Yen / 2011-08-03)
   • Garbage bears plague downtown Tokyo! 3Yen / 2010-11-25
   • Collected boxes ‘with children’ for hungry bears
original kuma of 2chan 2ch(3Yen / 2011-01-16)

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I'm a pale, alien, quadruped who has worked for 25+ years at "Maybe-the-Largest Inc." in Tokyo.

12 thoughts on “Threat level up: Radioactive Japanese BEARS!!!”

  1. WOT!? Is there now radioactive Fukushima bears?

    What will Godzilla think about having his job usurped?

    radioactive breath of godzilla

  2. MARKed TRAIL wrote:
    …here’s the real danger. [Pedobear picture]

    Nah, it’s this bear that is the too real danger in Japan.

    bears on the train japan

  3. 2 bears died of diarrhea and bloody feces in Akita prefecture
    Fukushima Diary | November 16th, 2012
    Two asian black bears died of symptoms like diarrhea and bloody feces. They are 8 and 7 years old male, died on 11/15 and 11/16/2012. Another male is having the same symptoms.
    These are three of six bears transfered from another bear farm on11/7/2012.
    Akita prefecture presumes it is because of the stress caused by the change of environment.

  4. So, a bear walks into a bar, proceeds to get itself completely drunk and then passes out on the floor.
    A little after that, a health inspector comes and says to the barman, “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there.”
    The barman answers, “That’s not a lion, that’s a bear.”

  5. random-english-brown-bear

    English: Miss Fukuda is the first financial planner to kill a brown bear with her bare hands.
    Japanese: Fukuda san wa higuma o sude de shitometa, hajimete no fainansharu purannaa desu.


    Via RocketNews24 | 2016/04/23: “Don’t worry, he is a docile pervert” and other useful phrases in Japanese and English

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