Japan’s ex-expat Aikido Hair Master

The Wackadoodle Hair Of Steven Seagal is a fun photo essay of the True Mystery of the Orientthe everchanging hair of Japan’s first foriegn Aikido master of the martial arts and reincarnated Tulka, Steven Seagal, from the ‘I Am Bored’ website.

Click to view the entire image.
seagal hairline crazy

Cropped image above—Click to view the original, full-sized, 1240 × 1754px, image with captions on i-am-bored.com.

Previous 3Yen reports of His Immense Eminence, the Potentate of the Poonani include:
1 hour more than you want inside Seagal’s head (3Yen 2012-10-18)
Steven Seagal = dead puppies? (3Yen 2011-08-31)
The Tulku loves his sex slaves (3Yen 2011-04-24)
‘Sheep Impact’ — Seagal’s latest blockbuster! (3Yen 2011-04-21)

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I'm a pale, alien, quadruped who has worked for 25+ years at "Maybe-the-Largest Inc." in Tokyo.

11 thoughts on “Japan’s ex-expat Aikido Hair Master”

  1. WOTS a “Poonani” you ask?

    Me want the poonani, see for make nice
    She want the buddy
    Him want the poonani
    And me know it nice

  2. Steven Seagal…His Immense Eminence, the Potentate of the Poonani

    C’mon, give the guy a break. He’s just working his way into playing Eddie Munster all grown up in the next straight-to-DVD Munster movie.
    steven seagal vs eddie munster

  3. As well as the hair, I love the rich array of emotion displayed on his facial expressions…why has this bloke never won an Oscar? (Even the one from Sesame Street?)

  4. SDH wrote:
    As well as the hair, I love the rich array of emotion displayed on his facial expressions…

    The Internet just phoned and said it wants me to pay to a copyright fee for posting the Steven Seagal Emotion Chart here.

    steven seagal emotion-chart

    SDH wrote:
    why has this bloke never won an Oscar? (Even the one from Sesame Street?)

    Steven Seagal did get an Emmy Award for his work on Sesame Street, right?

  5. seagal-hairline-crazy
    The original image is from the website, i-am-bored.com.

    Is this jpeg what you call a flock of seagals?

  6. Steven Segall’s level of stupidity and horribleness

    “Okay, these stories are too good not to share. Firstly I want to stress that these stories are 100% true, they come from someone who witnessed every-one first-hand while working with him on his latest show. I don’t want to give up his identity, as Steven is the kind of guy to fire someone / punch them over this.”

    “Note: When reading Steven quotes, it’s important you do it in his voice.”

    “Steven is a true monster…”

    “Firstly, Steven is well over 300 pounds, no joke. He’s losing some weight now, apparently, but he’s still obese.”

    “He is a terrible human being, the first thing he used to say when getting to set was “Earth to faggots!” after being told he legally could not call crew “faggots” he now shows up saying “Earth to HETEROSEXUALS!””

    “His openly spoken rule for working with him: No fags or jews (his words)”

    “He will literally punch/slap/hit stunt men during scenes, these are professionals who he will chastise as being faggots if they ask him why he just slapped them across the face.”

    “He has two trailers, one for him one for his wife. He constantly sleeps with escorts, but can only sleep with ones his wife “approves”. When he doesn’t he gets in a fight and is in a bad mood.”

    “He only shows up for a couple of hours, won’t learn any lines and can’t read his que cards.”

    “He constantly ruins shots, but since questioning him in any way will get you fired the crew has to lie, saying there was dust on the lenze or whatever to get him to try again, and hopefully not screw up the shot again. Because of this he claims everyone in Canada are useless hacks who don’t know how to do their jobs.”

    “He will chastise, belittle, insult and harass other actors in front of everyone”


  7. Seagal’s “poonani” truly love him…

    Movie star Steven Seagal tells of briefs encounter when Scots fans threw knickers at him
    –MARTIAL arts maestro is back on road with his blues band and set to play The Ferry in Glasgow next week.–
    Daily Record / July 12, 2014
    TOUGH guy movie star Steven Seagal says he’s ready to return to the venue where female Scots fans threw their knickers at him.
    The Hollywood movie superstar is back on the road with his blues band and is lined up to play a gig at The Ferry in Glasgow.
    Seagal, 62, last played the venue in 2007 and received a surprise underwear attack.
    He said: “Panties were thrown on stage. That was OK. If the girls want to throw their panties, that’s fine. I’m honoured and grateful that the fine women of Glasgow would want to thrown their panties at me.
    “As long as they’re not triple X porno panties or anything too exotic, I can handle it."
    panty tales seagal

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