WE WANT YOU!

i-want-you-uncle-sam
A bit less boring and bellicose than Uncle Sam’s “I WANT YOU!” here is the recruiting poster I found in my Tokyo subway for Japan’s “I ☆ P’s” [sic] idols of the country’s ‘Self-Defense Forces’ who want you!

sdf-recruting-poster


goofy Google Translate of a Self-Defense Force recruiting site:
This is the new design for Japan’s Self-Defense Forces recruiting posters …. the refreshing image of the new design will bring a bright and positive frame of mind…in a fresh illustration such that wants to continue to challenge something. The new recruiting slogan will be, “The shining me!

 

 
The fearsome “I ☆ P’s” military recruiting characters pictured are:
i-shiining-p• Miss Lark of the Air Self-Defense Force dressed in air force blue.
• Miss Rose of the Maritime Self-Defense Force dressed in navy whites.
• Miss Plum of the Ground Self-Defense Force dressed army green.

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Our previous reports Japan’s Self-Defense Forces include:

 



 

Cones of Japan

 
beaten-but-aliveembiggen to 1280 × 1920 px

(No title)by Mrs Tsk *, The thoughts of Chairman Momus. 9th Oct. 2016

 

Here are few of our previous reports of the true survivors of Japan, the Cones:budhha-cone-head

 



 


Japan is going cuckoo


As we have said before, Japan is where the traffic lights sing (3Yen / 2006-10-25).   But now it seems that Japan’s pedestrian crossings are going for the birds.

Song melodies at pedestrian crossings nationwide are being phased out in favour of birdcalls.Mulboyne avatar
— Mulboyne (@Mulboyne) October 7, 2016

crossing traffic in japan

The decline of the crosswalk song “Toryanse” for crossing signals with birdcalls
goofy Google Translate of Asahi Shimbun | 2016 October 7
The traditional musical crossing signal, “Toryanse,” which meant to aid the visually impaired persons is being replaced throughout Japan with crossing signals using birdcallsthe east-west direction of traffic is marked with a chickadee song and the north-south direction with a cuckoo songThe National Police Agency, which has been promoting the change [had a] demonstration/experiment in 2002 that found that more than half of the visually impaired persons evaluated birdcalls as, “easier to understand sound of the traffic direction than conventional crossing music.”
More…

asahi-quote

 



 

Indonesian hero streams ‘Watch Tokyo Hot’ pøяn over a highway billboard

 _billboard-indonesia-japanese-porn
icon_love2

Indonesian streams Þøяn over highway billboard, faces six years in jail
The Japan Times | Oct. 5, 2016
JAKARTA –
An Indonesian arrested for hacking into a Jakarta electronic billboard and streaming a Þørn film during rush hour could face up to six years in jail, police said Wednesday.
The Japanese film “Watch Tokyo Hot” was broadcast for 10 minutes on the advertising screen on Friday at a major intersection in the capital, leaving motorists variously amusedmore...

 


 
Our previous pøяnish reports (that are totallysafeforwork) include:

 
 



 

Drink PET SWEAT™ — only in Japan

 pet-sweat

via @AdsilaMika | Oct. 5, 2016

PET SWEAT™ has been marketed for the past seven years as an energy drink for dogs, which is rather funny since dogs don’t really sweat except on areas not covered with fur, such as their nose and paw pads (Wiki).pocari_sweat

PET SWEAT™ is a product line spin-off of the Japan’s most popular (and most unfortunately-named) sports drink, Pocari Sweat™ →
(3Yen / 2014-05-16)
.

 
Our previous “Sweat” reports include:

 



 

Tokyo court drops case against ‘Sperm Fairies’

mird-130_campground

Tokyo court drops public obscenity case over outdoor porn shoot
The Tokyo Reporter | 2016/09/30
The Tokyo District Court last week dropped a public obscenity case against 52 persons involved in the making of an adult video production which was filmed at a campground
Over a two-day period ending on October 1, 2013, nine actresses, referred to as “sperm fairies,” 24 actors and 19 other production personnel, including Norihide Murayama, 49, the former president of talent agency Marks Japan, participated in the making of the film...more...

sperm-fairies_640x

Note that the Sperm Fairies are misspelling ‘WELL CµM’ using their t-shirts.

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Our previous reports of hinkiness in Nippon include:

 



 

Crash landing of a UFO on Mount Rokko Japan!

Reports are coming in to our news desk of a UFO crashed landing at an art festival in Mt. Rokko.

 
ufo-ramen
UFO ramen

goofy Google Translate of asahi.com in the pond of “Rokko Country House” a noodle Object with a diameter of 3.6 meters is displayed half out of the water as though it fell from the skymore...

 

In case you were wondering about the UFO logo on the flying saucer in the pond, Nissin Foods Inc. sells the highly popular “UFO” brand of instant Sosu Yakisoba (pan-fried noodles).

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Other 3Yen reports of alien noodles include:

Tokyo’s GOMIzilla?

Here’s GOMIzilla, Godzilla’s little-known, blue-collar cousin from Tokyo.

GOMI (ゴミ) means garbage in Japanese.

 

Quirky heap at a construction site. #Naha #Okinawa #Japan gomizilla-_500xjapans-many-faces
• ッツJapan's many faces (@japansmanyfaces) Sept. 25, 2016

 

 
Our previous reports about gomi or Godzilla include:

 



 

Proof: Japanese are aliens!

Japanese Martian linkedClick to view video.

Proof Of Ancient Mars Civilization Link To Japanese Culture Discovered On Google Maps
inquisitr.com Sept. 18, 2016
identical ancient structures on the planet Mars and Japan (Earth) that prove a historical link between Japanese and Martian civilizations. The discoveryproves that Mars aliens may have migrated to Earth and contributed to the development of Japanese civilizationThe structureis identical with the Japanese megalithic tombs or tumuli called Kofun that gave their name to the Kofun era (250-538 A.D.) of Japanese historymore

 

 marvin_martian Japan-flagCommander of Flying Saucer X-2 aka Marvin the Martian

 
In addition to the above “proof” there are the numerous mysterious “dogu”—the clay figures that representing ancient astronauts of Japan. (wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogū#Pseudoarchaeology)
figurine_dogu_jomon_musee_guimet

Also check out our previous reports of real aliens in Japan including: