FaFa’s Oriental Woody

Oh dear…
oriental-woodylisa-sometimes_bigger Lisa Sometimes @MsLisaSometimes June 27, 2016



Wait. It gets better than the teddy bear character FaFa-kun‘s “Oriental Woody” (ファーファ オリエンタル ウッディ). He will, make it all white©″.

he-said-woodBEAVIS: Heh heh. Heh heh. He said WOOD. Heh heh.
BUTTHEAD: Hey Beavis. They like, UH-huh UH-huh UH-huh, they found your phallus. It’s two inches long. UH-huh. UH-huh. UH-huh.
   —from Beavis and Butthead, “The Mystery of Morning Wood


Previous puerile posts of Japanese “wood” include:



Welcome to Kenmin Kingdom of Noodly Nippon


Anthony d'Avis (@ozAntinnippon) June 25, 2016


(Goofy Google Translate of Wiki): Kenmin Foods Co., Ltd. of Kobe is a rice noodle manufacturer that is best known for its “Welcome to the Kenmin Kingdom” ad campaign. Kenmin’s ads are known for their eerie content and surreal product image.

Previous posts of Japan’s fun ads for very bent noodles include:



Privacy is back

dazzle-googlesThree years ago, in Anti‑surveillance chic from Japan (2013-01-29)
we covered these Invisibility Glasses″ of Professor Isao Echizen at Tokyo’s National Institute of Informatics. Well, the professor is back with better haircut and mega-funding from Nissey Corp.


For a mere ¥36,000 or about $331 USD, you can buy the new Privacy Visor″ Nissey Corp., Gort_Firing and you too can defeat the forces of evil with style with your own Gort Visor (Wiki).

Learn more about the new visor from the Nissey’s Press Release.

Our previous reports on Japanese digital masking trends include:
   • Facial recognition for masked Japanese (3Yen / 2006-01-14)
   • Digital makeup, Japanese (3Yen / 2011-04-18)




VibeBar, the Wild One

Many times I think entertainment venues in Tokyo are just trolling us with click bait…

The VibeBar–Wild One (dildo bar) click to view.

Learn more at the official website that is is sort-of-bilingual at: vibebar.jp


Previous “upstanding” reports with “good vibes” include::




A pawn shop ad seen on the back of bus in Kyoto Japan….

fukuyou-bust-bertrand Très smart ce nom

Google Translate of fukuyou78.com:
Please bring your precious metals, expensive brand goods, home appliances, antique musical instruments, etc. as pawn, or you can purchase them at the Fukuyou Pawn shops of Kyoto. We give the highest assessments, and offer the best prices.


Previous fuckqued reports include:



‘GET SURPRISE!’ — Tokyo Shinjuku Station’s ‘mystery touch’



Japanese news report of: matome.naver.jp (Google Translate):
The ‘mystery touch’ is part of a Puré Gummy campaign being held at Shinjuku Station from April 11 to 17.

Even in relatively vandalism-free Japan, it is going to take a large support staff →
to keep the ‘mystery touch’ from getting to be too much of a “GET SURPRISE!”

Learn more about the time and exact location of the event at the official Japanese website of Puré Gummy: kanro.co.jp/jurepure

Our previous gummy/mouthy news includes:



Hot new Japanese TV commerical featuring a foreign male chauvinist pig

Hey, did you see the new Japanese TV commerical featuring me[1] as a foreign, big-snouted, male chauvinist pig?
I’m especially proud of my big kabe-don[2] scene where the young housewife working as an abused supermarket stock clerk eats me!

Also check out the second commerial with the same “Iberian pig” (イベリコ豚) playing a foreign exercise instructor who gets eaten by a housewife.

Ok, ok, the commerical does not star me. I look much more pig-like. I have a much more pink piggy complexion, I sport a bigger snout, and I am more sparsely bristled than the Japanese actor just pretending to be a foreign pig.

Kabe-don (壁ドン)—loosely meaning, “hitting a wall”—is a “romantic” way Japanese in manga/comics proclaim their affection (and is a form of Japanese sexual harrassment). You can learn more details about kabe-don at:
Kotaku.com: Manga trope appears–confuses some


Our previous piggy reports include:



Japan hits Peak Lipstick

Not an April Fool’s story…

Japan Lipstick Industry Is Projected to Reach a Significant Height in Its Market Growth as the 2016 Consumer Demands Are Evolving
…a detailed analysis of this industry on the basis of the ongoing market trends, in addition to the market drivers, demand inhibitors, resource utilization, market challenges
SBWIRE — 04/01/2016 blah, blah, blah…

traditional-japanese-makeup-1 YVE-style.com/makeup/japanese-makeup-style: The above photo was labled “traditional” Japanese makeup, ha, ha.
pikachu pucker pokemon by viridis somnioOur previous lipstick reports include:

Non-stop 2020 Tokyo Olympic campaign

Longtime 3Yen reader, Lou Minatti, writes:

Oh My Buddha!

It’s a Sunday here in ‘Merica and during a commercial TV break for “Face The Nation” they suddenly show a new 90 second commercial for this fairly new 2020 Non Stop Tokyo Orympic Tentacle Pr0n campaign:


And this is only the beginning FOUR YEARS IN ADVANCE!!!!!

And if you go to the bottom of the above page, you’ll see that it is all part of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government! Awwww Yeeeaaahhhhh!!!!! :D

I can imagine the various monstrosities that you are already starting to see inside ground zero. :)

Lou Minatti

PS continues...crap-and-tokyo

Thoughtless dessert

Mayu Matsuoka and a PR tie-in is featured the Lotte commercial below for “NO THINK”. However, it is hard to tell where where the promotion of the seemingly-real, lower-calorie, “NO THINK” product ends and the April Fools’ joke starts (lotte.co.jp/products/brand/soh/aprilfool/).
Actually, the product’s name is “爽” (Chinese shuang3 or Japanese shoso) meaning ‘refreshing’, and “NO THINK” is just the slogan.


Previous engRish reports of frozen Japanese confectionaries include: