Rakuten, Japan’s biggest electronic commerce and Internet company1 has an ENDLESS [engrish] CHALLENGE™ with their Englishnization2 policy making all its employees conduct business in English.
1Refer to: wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakuten
2Refer to The Japan Times (2015-05-23): Rakuten forges ahead in English
3Refer to: wikipedia.org/wiki/X_Japan
Our previous engrish and Rakuten reports include:
The Adult VR (Virtual Reality) Expo will be held at Tokyo’s Ikebukuro this weekend. moguravr.com/adult-vr-expo-2016
The VR product shown below is described by goofy Google Translate as…
Dream of the penis warp machine— Once the interpolation is to Ona-hole, warp the penis is in the vagina of a favorite of that girl! Different dimension of pleasure strikes you!
Our previous reports of Japanese wanking tech include:
McDonald’s Japan has been in a death spiral having to eat seven straight quarterly losses and it has been forced to close 30% of its stores in the past four years… until now.
Pokémon Go spurs sales growth for McDonald’s Japan
McDonald’s Japan has seen sales jump 27% in July, following its tie-up with Pokémon Go… saw McDonald’s stores becomes PokéStops and PokéGyms, has led to increased store traffic and demand of children’s meals which include Pokémon toys, pushing July sales…more...
Previous Pokéreports of McDonald’s include:
「No Idol No Burger！」We are West Japan HamburgirlZ！
(details at: tofugu.com)
Micro-Godzilla’s Big Mac attack!
Is that a miffed burger or an iffy burger?
“With Everything Burger” (“zenbu nose baagaa” or 全部のせバーガー): lettuce, cabbage, egg, a slice of cheese, a cheeseburger, a rib patty, a fried shrimp patty, a beef patty, pickles and various sauces, like ketchup, mayo, and teriyaki sauce.
♬~ I Really Really Really Really Like You extra Moist Diane.
″ Non-silicon playtime is squeaky—oil is sticky. It’s common sense to approach nether-hair care of the next generation. A smooth soap-job provides comfort without being too squeaky. Then, a good lube job can gently dirt the hair, oil treatment to penetrate deeply. Uniquely formulated lube without stickiness provides a slippery sleek finish-cum-happy ending.″
For more fun with Japanese-engrish, check out:
Wait. It gets better than the teddy bear character FaFa-kun‘s “Oriental Woody” (ファーファ オリエンタル ウッディ). He will, ″make it all white©″.
BEAVIS: Heh heh. Heh heh. He said WOOD. Heh heh.
BUTTHEAD: Hey Beavis. They like, UH-huh UH-huh UH-huh, they found your phallus. It’s two inches long. UH-huh. UH-huh. UH-huh.
—from Beavis and Butthead, “The Mystery of Morning Wood”
Previous puerile posts of Japanese “wood” include:
(Goofy Google Translate of Wiki): Kenmin Foods Co., Ltd. of Kobe is a rice noodle manufacturer that is best known for its “Welcome to the Kenmin Kingdom” ad campaign. Kenmin’s ads are known for their eerie content and surreal product image.
Previous posts of Japan’s fun ads for very bent noodles include:
Three years ago, in Anti‑surveillance chic from Japan (2013-01-29) →
we covered these ″ Invisibility Glasses″ of Professor Isao Echizen at Tokyo’s National Institute of Informatics. Well, the professor is back with better haircut and mega-funding from Nissey Corp.
For a mere ¥36,000 or about $331 USD, you can buy the new ″ Privacy Visor″ Nissey Corp., and you too can defeat the forces of evil with style with your own Gort Visor™ (Wiki). →
Learn more about the new visor from the Nissey’s Press Release.
Our previous reports on Japanese digital masking trends include:
• Facial recognition for masked Japanese (3Yen / 2006-01-14)
• Digital makeup, Japanese ↓ (3Yen / 2011-04-18)
Many times I think entertainment venues in Tokyo are just trolling us with click bait…
The VibeBar–Wild One (dildo bar) click to view.
Learn more at the official website that is is sort-of-bilingual at: vibebar.jp
Previous “upstanding” reports with “good vibes” include::
A pawn shop ad seen on the back of bus in Kyoto Japan….
Google Translate of fukuyou78.com:
Please bring your precious metals, expensive brand goods, home appliances, antique musical instruments, etc. as pawn, or you can purchase them at the Fukuyou Pawn shops of Kyoto. We give the highest assessments, and offer the best prices.
Previous fuckqued reports include: