A pawn shop ad seen on the back of bus in Kyoto Japan….

fukuyou-bust-bertrand Très smart ce nom

Google Translate of fukuyou78.com:
Please bring your precious metals, expensive brand goods, home appliances, antique musical instruments, etc. as pawn, or you can purchase them at the Fukuyou Pawn shops of Kyoto. We give the highest assessments, and offer the best prices.


Previous fuckqued reports include:



‘GET SURPRISE!’ — Tokyo Shinjuku Station’s ‘mystery touch’



Japanese news report of: matome.naver.jp (Google Translate):
The ‘mystery touch’ is part of a Puré Gummy campaign being held at Shinjuku Station from April 11 to 17.

Even in relatively vandalism-free Japan, it is going to take a large support staff →
to keep the ‘mystery touch’ from getting to be too much of a “GET SURPRISE!”

Learn more about the time and exact location of the event at the official Japanese website of Puré Gummy: kanro.co.jp/jurepure

Our previous gummy/mouthy news includes:



Hot new Japanese TV commerical featuring a foreign male chauvinist pig

Hey, did you see the new Japanese TV commerical featuring me[1] as a foreign, big-snouted, male chauvinist pig?
I’m especially proud of my big kabe-don[2] scene where the young housewife working as an abused supermarket stock clerk eats me!

Also check out the second commerial with the same “Iberian pig” (イベリコ豚) playing a foreign exercise instructor who gets eaten by a housewife.

Ok, ok, the commerical does not star me. I look much more pig-like. I have a much more pink piggy complexion, I sport a bigger snout, and I am more sparsely bristled than the Japanese actor just pretending to be a foreign pig.

Kabe-don (壁ドン)—loosely meaning, “hitting a wall”—is a “romantic” way Japanese in manga/comics proclaim their affection (and is a form of Japanese sexual harrassment). You can learn more details about kabe-don at:
Kotaku.com: Manga trope appears–confuses some


Our previous piggy reports include:



Japan hits Peak Lipstick

Not an April Fool’s story…

Japan Lipstick Industry Is Projected to Reach a Significant Height in Its Market Growth as the 2016 Consumer Demands Are Evolving
…a detailed analysis of this industry on the basis of the ongoing market trends, in addition to the market drivers, demand inhibitors, resource utilization, market challenges
SBWIRE — 04/01/2016 blah, blah, blah…

traditional-japanese-makeup-1 YVE-style.com/makeup/japanese-makeup-style: The above photo was labled “traditional” Japanese makeup, ha, ha.
pikachu pucker pokemon by viridis somnioOur previous lipstick reports include:

Non-stop 2020 Tokyo Olympic campaign

Longtime 3Yen reader, Lou Minatti, writes:

Oh My Buddha!

It’s a Sunday here in ‘Merica and during a commercial TV break for “Face The Nation” they suddenly show a new 90 second commercial for this fairly new 2020 Non Stop Tokyo Orympic Tentacle Pr0n campaign:


And this is only the beginning FOUR YEARS IN ADVANCE!!!!!

And if you go to the bottom of the above page, you’ll see that it is all part of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government! Awwww Yeeeaaahhhhh!!!!! :D

I can imagine the various monstrosities that you are already starting to see inside ground zero. :)

Lou Minatti

PS continues...crap-and-tokyo

Thoughtless dessert

Mayu Matsuoka and a PR tie-in is featured the Lotte commercial below for “NO THINK”. However, it is hard to tell where where the promotion of the seemingly-real, lower-calorie, “NO THINK” product ends and the April Fools’ joke starts (lotte.co.jp/products/brand/soh/aprilfool/).
Actually, the product’s name is “爽” (Chinese shuang3 or Japanese shoso) meaning ‘refreshing’, and “NO THINK” is just the slogan.


Previous engRish reports of frozen Japanese confectionaries include:



Mayo Terrace or Mayo Terrorist?

kewpienaked-kewpie_50xJapan is the Land of Mayonnaise and Kewpie is king.
That is, most Japanese food comes slathered with mayo snot, and most use Kewpie brand mayonnaise (which has become a fetish item for mayonnaise-for-brains weeaboos*).
Worst case: Japanese Mayo & corn pizza.

To a mayo hater like me, I have to really wonder if whether the following is Kewpie’s “Mayo Terrace” or “Mayo Terrorist”?

MAYO TERRACE is a, Museum meets factory tour and a whole lot more. You would need a full day for this truly unique and educational learning experience.


You can learn more details about the museum’s location and times of operation at:


Previous reports of Japanese mayonnaise madness include:



Let’s CHINDOGU! Still crazy after all these years

Today’s CHINDOGU—those wacky “unuseless inventions” made popular by Japan the late 1980s are still going (crazy) after all these years.

sidebar-quote long Potted plants usually are in the way, this “POT” can be used as a helmet in case of emergency.
rbbtoday.com | March 14, 2016 (in Japanese)


the +MET PROJECT plusmet.jp/en/
Normally, it is a stylish plant pot.
But in an emergency, take out the plant,
it immediately turns into a helmet.


Chindogu pictures
Wikipedia: Chindogu — unuseless inventions of Japan.

For a further overview, refer to jackthreads.com: Get to know chindogu the Japanese art of unuselessness

Our previous mentions the Japanese art of unuselessness include:


More Japanese toxic waste

SLUSHO!  Japanese sugar drinkdrink-sixslusho-pops
Remember the Japanese drink sensation SLUSHO (3Yen 2007-08-02) made of toxic waste?
Well, it’s back.

SLUSHO was part of the J.J. Abrams’ hype machine for his 2008 monster movie Cloverfield.
The upcoming sequel to that film is called 10 Cloverfield Lane (IMDb.com).
The premise of the film is that the Japanese parent company of SLUSHO, TAGRUATO Corp., has released a deep-ocean, toxic spill that has created or stirred up the Cloverfield Monster(s).

Cracking the ’10 Cloverfield Lane’ Puzzle
inverse.com | Feb. 22, 2016
The Japanese drilling company Tagruato (which has been spotted as an Easter egg in other J.J. Abrams films like Star Trek) is an investor in Slusho, a candy soft drink that had a major presence in the original 2008 movie’s marketing. Many fans, to this day, believe for sure that Slusho’s toxic waste birthed the monster. In Cloverfield, Rob [Cloverfield’s main character] was on his way to Japan to work for Slusho until the monster attacked.



TAGRUATO Corporation was the former employer of the main character of 10 Cloverfield Lane, Howard—RadioMan70 (John Goodman), who is living in a survivalist bunker hiding from world calamity/eco-disaster/Monster/own paranoia. Howard built a survival simulator that is like a crappy, retro DOS game and in this text-based survival game you can learn all the skills you will need to survive rationing of food, water, and gear to keep from various deaths living underground at 10 Cloverfield Lane.
Play the game to learn more at: funandprettythings.com/survival_sim/latest/



A real ricer . . . Audi Japan’s new A8 5.5 model

Audi Japan debuts
special edition A8 5.5 featuring a rice cooker

Exclusive only to Japan, Audi’s new A8 5.5 (www.audi.jp/rice)real-ricerThe special model name “5.5” was inspired from the Japanese word gohan, which means rice—5 (go) and 0.5 or half (han)
In honor of the Japanese rice-eating culture, the Audi A8 5.5 features the world’s first rice cooker in the rear seat console
with Audi’s refined, innovative technology, each and every owner can now customize their rice to their own taste of preference
the interior is designed with tatami made out of the finest rush grass that is suitable for the high temperatures and the humidity of Japan. Enjoy the aesthetic features of Japanese culture with the new Audi A8 5.5.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, this is Audi’s “April Fools’ Day gift” campaign (2015).april-fools-gift

Previous ricer reports include: