Drink PET SWEAT™ — only in Japan


via @AdsilaMika | Oct. 5, 2016

PET SWEAT™ has been marketed for the past seven years as an energy drink for dogs, which is rather funny since dogs don’t really sweat except on areas not covered with fur, such as their nose and paw pads (Wiki).pocari_sweat

PET SWEAT™ is a product line spin-off of the Japan’s most popular (and most unfortunately-named) sports drink, Pocari Sweat™ →
(3Yen / 2014-05-16)

Our previous “Sweat” reports include:



Japan’s new FU-mart (and you know what ‘FU’ stands for)

FU_logo_crThe big merger of FamilyMart and Uny convenience store chains (japantimes.com | 2016ept-01) making Japan’s second largest chain. It also has created a special kind of store: fumart_logo


A few of our many previous Japanese convenience store reports include:family-cirkus-convience-store




Rakuten, Japan’s biggest electronic commerce and Internet company1 has an ENDLESS [engrish] CHALLENGE™ with their Englishnization2 policy making all its employees conduct business in English.


Rakuten Press Release
Google Translate of k-tai.watch.impress.co.jp | August 25, 2016
YOSHKI of X JAPAN3 will provide a new song, “Endless Challenge,” in a TV commercial for Rakuten’s new “Rakuten Mobile,” a MVNO (mobile virtual network operator) service starting from August 26...more...


1Refer to: wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakuten
2Refer to The Japan Times (2015-05-23): Rakuten forges ahead in English
3Refer to: wikipedia.org/wiki/X_Japan


Our previous engrish and Rakuten reports include:



Japan’s wanking VR ‘release’

The Adult VR (Virtual Reality) Expo will be held at Tokyo’s Ikebukuro this weekend. moguravr.com/adult-vr-expo-2016

The VR product shown below is described by goofy Google Translate as…

quoter leftDream of the penis warp machine— Once the interpolation is to Ona-hole, warp the penis is in the vagina of a favorite of that girl! Different dimension of pleasure strikes you!quoter right


Our previous reports of Japanese wanking tech include:



Eat my Pokéballs!

McDonald’s Japan has been in a death spiral having to eat seven straight quarterly losses and it has been forced to close 30% of its stores in the past four years… until now.


Pokémon Go spurs sales growth for McDonald’s Japan
AdNews 2016-Aug-11
McDonald’s Japan has seen sales jump 27% in July, following its tie-up with Pokémon Go saw McDonald’s stores becomes PokéStops and PokéGyms, has led to increased store traffic and demand of children’s meals which include Pokémon toys, pushing July salesmore...


pokeman pokeball
Previous Pokéreports of McDonald’s include:



July 20 is that special time — Japanese HAMBURGER DAY!

No Idol No Burger!」We are West Japan HamburgirlZ!
(details at: tofugu.com)

Micro-Godzilla’s Big Mac attack!

Is that a miffed burger or an iffy burger?


“With Everything Burger” (“zenbu nose baagaa” or 全部のせバーガー): lettuce, cabbage, egg, a slice of cheese, a cheeseburger, a rib patty, a fried shrimp patty, a beef patty, pickles and various sauces, like ketchup, mayo, and teriyaki sauce.


I really really really really like you extra moist Diane

♬~ I Really Really Really Really Like You extra Moist Diane.

moist diane story

Non-silicon playtime is squeaky—oil is sticky. It’s common sense to approach nether-hair care of the next generation. A smooth soap-job provides comfort without being too squeaky. Then, a good lube job can gently dirt the hair, oil treatment to penetrate deeply. Uniquely formulated lube without stickiness provides a slippery sleek finish-cum-happy ending.″

translated japanese by bing

extra moist diane title


For more fun with Japanese-engrish, check out:



FaFa’s Oriental Woody

Oh dear…
oriental-woodylisa-sometimes_bigger Lisa Sometimes @MsLisaSometimes June 27, 2016



Wait. It gets better than the teddy bear character FaFa-kun‘s “Oriental Woody” (ファーファ オリエンタル ウッディ). He will, make it all white©″.

he-said-woodBEAVIS: Heh heh. Heh heh. He said WOOD. Heh heh.
BUTTHEAD: Hey Beavis. They like, UH-huh UH-huh UH-huh, they found your phallus. It’s two inches long. UH-huh. UH-huh. UH-huh.
   —from Beavis and Butthead, “The Mystery of Morning Wood


Previous puerile posts of Japanese “wood” include:



Welcome to Kenmin Kingdom of Noodly Nippon


Anthony d'Avis (@ozAntinnippon) June 25, 2016


(Goofy Google Translate of Wiki): Kenmin Foods Co., Ltd. of Kobe is a rice noodle manufacturer that is best known for its “Welcome to the Kenmin Kingdom” ad campaign. Kenmin’s ads are known for their eerie content and surreal product image.

Previous posts of Japan’s fun ads for very bent noodles include:



Privacy is back

dazzle-googlesThree years ago, in Anti‑surveillance chic from Japan (2013-01-29)
we covered these Invisibility Glasses″ of Professor Isao Echizen at Tokyo’s National Institute of Informatics. Well, the professor is back with better haircut and mega-funding from Nissey Corp.


For a mere ¥36,000 or about $331 USD, you can buy the new Privacy Visor″ Nissey Corp., Gort_Firing and you too can defeat the forces of evil with style with your own Gort Visor (Wiki).

Learn more about the new visor from the Nissey’s Press Release.

Our previous reports on Japanese digital masking trends include:
   • Facial recognition for masked Japanese (3Yen / 2006-01-14)
   • Digital makeup, Japanese (3Yen / 2011-04-18)