Japan’s new FU-mart (and you know what ‘FU’ stands for)

FU_logo_crThe big merger of FamilyMart and Uny convenience store chains (japantimes.com | 2016ept-01) making Japan’s second largest chain. It also has created a special kind of store: fumart_logo

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A few of our many previous Japanese convenience store reports include:family-cirkus-convience-store

 



 

ENDLESS CHALLENGE®

Rakuten, Japan’s biggest electronic commerce and Internet company1 has an ENDLESS [engrish] CHALLENGE™ with their Englishnization2 policy making all its employees conduct business in English.

Englishnization.

Rakuten Press Release
Google Translate of k-tai.watch.impress.co.jp | August 25, 2016
:
YOSHKI of X JAPAN3 will provide a new song, “Endless Challenge,” in a TV commercial for Rakuten’s new “Rakuten Mobile,” a MVNO (mobile virtual network operator) service starting from August 26...more...

 

1Refer to: wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakuten
2Refer to The Japan Times (2015-05-23): Rakuten forges ahead in English
3Refer to: wikipedia.org/wiki/X_Japan

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Our previous engrish and Rakuten reports include:

 



 

Japan’s wanking VR ‘release’

The Adult VR (Virtual Reality) Expo will be held at Tokyo’s Ikebukuro this weekend. moguravr.com/adult-vr-expo-2016

The VR product shown below is described by goofy Google Translate as…

quoter leftDream of the penis warp machine— Once the interpolation is to Ona-hole, warp the penis is in the vagina of a favorite of that girl! Different dimension of pleasure strikes you!quoter right

ADULT-VR-EXPO-wakiker

Our previous reports of Japanese wanking tech include:

 



 

Eat my Pokéballs!

McDonald’s Japan has been in a death spiral having to eat seven straight quarterly losses and it has been forced to close 30% of its stores in the past four years… until now.

 
eat-my-pokeballs

Pokémon Go spurs sales growth for McDonald’s Japan
AdNews 2016-Aug-11
McDonald’s Japan has seen sales jump 27% in July, following its tie-up with Pokémon Go saw McDonald’s stores becomes PokéStops and PokéGyms, has led to increased store traffic and demand of children’s meals which include Pokémon toys, pushing July salesmore...

 

mac-pokeburger
pokeman pokeball
 
Previous Pokéreports of McDonald’s include:

 



 

July 20 is that special time — Japanese HAMBURGER DAY!

No Idol No Burger!」We are West Japan HamburgirlZ!
(details at: tofugu.com)

Micro-Godzilla’s Big Mac attack!

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Is that a miffed burger or an iffy burger?

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“With Everything Burger” (“zenbu nose baagaa” or 全部のせバーガー): lettuce, cabbage, egg, a slice of cheese, a cheeseburger, a rib patty, a fried shrimp patty, a beef patty, pickles and various sauces, like ketchup, mayo, and teriyaki sauce.

——

I really really really really like you extra moist Diane

daine_is_extra_moist
 
♬~ I Really Really Really Really Like You extra Moist Diane.

moist diane story

Non-silicon playtime is squeaky—oil is sticky. It’s common sense to approach nether-hair care of the next generation. A smooth soap-job provides comfort without being too squeaky. Then, a good lube job can gently dirt the hair, oil treatment to penetrate deeply. Uniquely formulated lube without stickiness provides a slippery sleek finish-cum-happy ending.″

translated japanese by bing

extra moist diane title

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For more fun with Japanese-engrish, check out:

 



 

FaFa’s Oriental Woody

Oh dear…
oriental-woodylisa-sometimes_bigger Lisa Sometimes @MsLisaSometimes June 27, 2016

 

 

Wait. It gets better than the teddy bear character FaFa-kun‘s “Oriental Woody” (ファーファ オリエンタル ウッディ). He will, make it all white©″.
FaFa-combo

he-said-woodBEAVIS: Heh heh. Heh heh. He said WOOD. Heh heh.
BUTTHEAD: Hey Beavis. They like, UH-huh UH-huh UH-huh, they found your phallus. It’s two inches long. UH-huh. UH-huh. UH-huh.
   —from Beavis and Butthead, “The Mystery of Morning Wood

 

Previous puerile posts of Japanese “wood” include:


 

 


Welcome to Kenmin Kingdom of Noodly Nippon

 Kenmin-kingdomAnthony

Anthony d'Avis (@ozAntinnippon) June 25, 2016

 

(Goofy Google Translate of Wiki): Kenmin Foods Co., Ltd. of Kobe is a rice noodle manufacturer that is best known for its “Welcome to the Kenmin Kingdom” ad campaign. Kenmin’s ads are known for their eerie content and surreal product image.

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Previous posts of Japan’s fun ads for very bent noodles include:

 



 

Privacy is back

dazzle-googlesThree years ago, in Anti‑surveillance chic from Japan (2013-01-29)
we covered these Invisibility Glasses″ of Professor Isao Echizen at Tokyo’s National Institute of Informatics. Well, the professor is back with better haircut and mega-funding from Nissey Corp.

n-glasses-privacy

For a mere ¥36,000 or about $331 USD, you can buy the new Privacy Visor″ Nissey Corp., Gort_Firing and you too can defeat the forces of evil with style with your own Gort Visor (Wiki).

 
Learn more about the new visor from the Nissey’s Press Release.

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Our previous reports on Japanese digital masking trends include:
   • Facial recognition for masked Japanese (3Yen / 2006-01-14)
   • Digital makeup, Japanese (3Yen / 2011-04-18)

 

 



 

VibeBar, the Wild One

Many times I think entertainment venues in Tokyo are just trolling us with click bait…

The VibeBar–Wild One (dildo bar) click to view.
wild-one-bar-video-screenshotbar-shot

Learn more at the official website that is is sort-of-bilingual at: vibebar.jp

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Previous “upstanding” reports with “good vibes” include::