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Archive for the 'Faux news flash' Category

4/3/2014

POCKY — Japan’s top secret

pocky sticks
Have you ever wondered how chocolate Pocky pretzels were made?

Wonder no longer.

make-poky glico pr
 
ポッキーはまさかの職人の手仕事だった!
pic.twitter.com/KIes0vADm8
—グリコ広報 (@glico_PR) March 31, 2014
 

Besides artisan-made Pocky snacks, previous puerile Pocky posts on the 3Yen include:
    • Japan plans for Plutonium Pocky! (3Yen / 2012-12-29)
    • Giant salmon pretzel sticks (3Yen / 2012-04-08)
    • Get Pockyed! (3Yen / 2009-07-25)


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4/1/2014

TEPCO prepares for cherry blossom viewing

white space is good for the soul tepco-hanami
sidebar spacer-QUOTEr graphic TEPCO Workers Hold Training for 2014 Hanami Matsuri
pic.twitter.com/M93E0p1laT — Shogannai (@Shogannai)’s twitter


funny-fuck-tepco-150x mickey mouse nuke plants of tepco
3Yen / 2012-01-26
: ‘TEPCO’: the definition of evil and stupid


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12/12/2013

Santa sex with a shark…in Japan of course

…Santa Claus…embraces a Zebra shark as he* swims with fish inside the Sunshine International Aquarium in Tokyo
Gawker / 2013dec11

santa-big-sharkembiggen

girl-santa
*Note that the Santa who is embracing the shark is a female staff member (3Yen / 2007-12-17) of Sunshine Aquarium wearing heavy waterproof makeup.
She is cross-dressing as Santa Claus in the true spirit of Japanese Christmas (3Yen / 2013-12-05) as you can see in the close-ups of her.

girl santa japan underwater


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12/10/2013

Japanese tentacle sex spreads across the world!

The evil grip of Japanese tentacle sex* (3Yen 2006-04-13) is reaching across the world and is appearing in the oddest places…

embiggen
Tentacal-sex-NROL-39-logo

  
You can learn more details about the National Reconnaissance Office’s new tentacle-sex* logo (L) at:
NROL-39 Logo Nothing Beyond Our Reach   Business Insider (Dec. 7, 2013)


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10/2/2013

PR secrets of Japan’s 2020 Olympics

Celebrating Japan’s PR coup, the Olympics 2020 to be held in Tokyo now has the perfect promotional commercial.
Enjoy.

Posted by Taro in Faux news flash, General | 1 Comment »

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9/30/2013

Steven-Seagal dead in murder suicide!

A Steven Seagal, who has a reputation as an extremely angry guy at times, has been found dead in what the police are calling a “murder suicide.” Luckily…
                  …the perp of the murder suicide is not Japan’s homeboy bubba buddha, Steven Seagal, but some other angry guy.

Pair’s deaths a murder suicide
The Detroit News | 2013sep29
Police said Sunday two people found shot to death inside a Wixom apartment Thursday died in a murder suicide and domestic dispute.
Steven-Seagal Quang Ly, 40, and the 25-year-old–manwere found inside the Stone Ridge Apartments complex near Pontiac Trail and Beck roads Thursday morning
Steven-Seagal Ly is a nationalized citizen who had a reputation as an “extremely angry guy at times.”
More…

born-to-raise-hell


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7/10/2013

Japan’s season for coolies

M. O. wrote:
Given the history of the term*, it’s kinda interesting to see it here in Japan…
COOLly SEASON®
cooly-season-sign

coolly-season

Well, they did show some sensitivity by spelling coolie* incorrectly.


COOLly does it all!

features_coolly

From the top left, the instructive graphic above reads:

   “DRY,” full of purple polka dots, anti-cooties, “SOFTo,”
   “COOL,” radioactive, stretchy, sniffs your armpits,
   silver infused, full of dead fish, foreigner friendly, and blocks UV rays.

coolly-logo


* Coolie 苦 力 (pinyin: kǔlì)
wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolie
In 1727 Dr. Engelbert Kämpfer described “coolies” as dock laborers who would unload Dutch merchant ships at Nagasaki in Japan...more…


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7/9/2013

Finally, Japan invents a *useful* robot, Part 2

Long-time contributor to the 3Yen, MARKed TRAIL, just sent us this hot robotics tip…

Here’s a continuation of your story, said-openFinally, Japan invents a *useful* robot (3Yen / 2013-02-15).said-closed

What MARKed TRAIL is refering to is the cruel joke that ALL of Japan’s robots failed to help in the nuke plant meltdown (3Yen / 2011-04-05). That is, Japan has spent trillions of both corporate and public money on robot development, but did no have any robots capable of helping in the aftermath of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster*.

________________________
Previous posts about Japan’s continued efforts in making useless wanking robots include:
japanese wanking-bots animated
   • Japan’s useless anthropomorphic robots
3Yen / 2010-10-15
   • 3Yen quoted by BBC & The Independent
3Yen / 2010-07-17
   • Wanking automation
3Yen / 2007-08-01 | See right. ↗


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6/27/2013

Monsterous alien slugs invade Japan!!

Den4, the 3Yen’s correspondent-at-large warns of Alien Slugs!
Where’s Gojira or Ultraman to save the day?

slug on diet bldg japan
Creative Commons photo credit to the flickr galleries of rhonddawildlifediary and Dick Johnson.

Giant alien slug invades Japan… again
rocketnews24.com 2013/06/27
Japan is currently under threat by Limax Maximus: a giant slug with a distinctive leopard-print skincan be found increasing at an alarming rate.
As Japanese netizens read the headline, almost unanimously, comments of “It’s Eleking!” echoed like the horrific memories of the nation’s previous encounters with alien slugsAlthough, Ultraman had defeated Elekingit returned several timesmore…

Eleking (Wiki) is, of course, a space kaiju/monster from the Japanese TV series, Ultra Seven, and who then reappeared in the series Ultraman Taro ← (Hey, “Taro” is my name!).


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6/23/2013

Stargate suddenly opens in Japan!

Japan’s feverish work over years on its independent Stargate Project has resulted in success!

nagoshi-no-Harae 夏越の祓 at Imamiya-jinja 今宮神社 japanese stargate kyoto 2013
Embiggen
to the original, full-sized photo on @KyotoDailyPhoto Twitpic

Rest-of-the-story…
Imamiya Shrine in Kyoto, like many shrines throughout Japan, has erected a great ring of miscanthus reeds for the “Nagoshi no harae”–Summer Purification Ceremonymore...

____________
Previous 3Yen reports on the Japanese Stargate program include:
Stargate suddenly opens in Kyoto Japan! (3Yen | 2012-06-29
Japanese Stargate mysteriously appears (3Yen | 2005-03-18)
Stargate Mt Fuji (3Yen | 2008-07-02)
Schoolgirl contemplates the Stargate (3Yen | 2009-06-20)
Japan’s Stargate survives Earth’s Pole Shift! (3Yen | 2011-04-08)


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