Covering the news of the sumo world yesterday, a charming Fuji TV newscaster makes a small point… and then realizes it.
Embiggen the small point to 640×360 px.
To enjoy the best in Kitchen Design Norwich Buttseks.
By now, my wang was shriveling like a slug in a salt mine. The seemingly never-ending streams of Aunt Jemima Pancake batter soon had me coated like a plasterer’s radio. I can’t wait to devour the batter from wet spot on my mammy’s flowered fanny. With my long, chromed whisk, I thrusted deep into Jemima’s crusting trench made her quiver like an earthquake in a reclaimed land next to Tokyo Bay.
Their quiver is as an open sepulchre, they are all mighty mmmm…
Shizuoka police have released this security camera image to the public asking for their help in identifying the robber.
Obviously, it’s Hibagon*, Japan’s Bigfoot.
Image released of the robbing of a convenience store in Shizuoka
Shizuoka Shimbun 2013/3/14
(giga-goofy Google Translate)
In the early morning hours of March 13th, the Family Mart convenience store in Miho Shimizu-ku, Shizuoka was robbed. The robber took 103,000 yen ($1,092 USD) in cash. Now, the Shimizu police have released to the public an image from the store’s security cameras of the robber.
According to the police, the robber was 175 cm (5′10″) tall and hiding his appearance with a facial covering. He was wearing and black jacket and trousers, gloves, and had a small knife, such as a fruit knife.
Police have interviewed the clerk of the convenience store and nearby residents, and they are now investigating how the robbery was performed and the robber’s escape route.
*Learn more about Japan’s Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch, the Hibagon, at cryptomundo.com and Wikipedia.
Toshinori Muto of Japan quickly tees off before the dread Sand Cthulhu has His Evil Way with the hapless Japanese golfer.
—On the first day of the New Zealand PGA Championship Toshinori Muto of Japan tees off at The Hills Golf Club in Queenstown on Feb. 28th, 2013. The Otago Daily Times reported that Muto (34) said, the views at The Hills are completely alien to Japanese-based golfers (Otago Daily Times Online News | March 1, 2013).
Right now in the last throes of winter, the air in Japan is extremely dry if you get my “drift.”
Click to view the original non-parody poster.
Check out the 3Yen’s many other non-dandruff related train manners posters for the Tokyo Metro here.
When the Tokyo subway cars are running at their daily 200% of capacity*, please line up and wait your turn to get kicked in the head.
View the original poster above for January 2013 at the Tokyo Metro Manners Foundation.
Daily Mail | 19 November 2012: Photos reveal squashed Tokyo subway commuters squeezed on to trains
*Business Insider | Jan. 11, 2012: Take A Look At Why The Tokyo Metro Is Known As 'Commuter Hell'
Realizing there is a gaping gap in Glico’s Pocky lineup*, Japan is obviously stockpiling for the introduction of plutonium-flavored Pocky!
Fair Use — Parody
Japan sticks to plan for extracting plutonium, but has little use for the tons it already has
Washington Post (AP News) December 28, 2012
…a high-tech facility that would convert spent fuel into a plutonium-uranium mix designed for the next generation of reactors… supposed to provide fuel while minimizing nuclear waste storage problems. Those ambitions are falling apart because years of attempts to build a “fast breeder” reactor, which would use the reprocessed fuel, appear to be ending in failure…more…
Previous posts on the 3Yen about other exciting and creative Pocky offerings include:
• Get POCKYed! (3Yen / 2011-11-12)
• Japanese ’schoolgirls’ want you to take a pokey
(3Yen / 2010-02-15)
• All Pockyed-up on Valentines Deay (3Yen / 2010-02-05)
~DailyGomiuri, on Twitter
The truth is the government really does just Photoshop new heads on the official Japan Cabinet portraits since Prime Minister changes every year and while in office the Prime Minister shuffles his cabinet at least three times.
The End of Japan (the rest of world is inconsequential) is foretold in the 12th Tzolkin of the Mayan Calendar. The prophecy IS coming true today, December 21st!
Blessed be friend. WE light workers are here to guide you and expell the evil forces of demonic entities that inhabit the 4th realm. You are focused on the material manifestation of what may be. Doing is not the answer, you must be and accept the light. The Light fears not man but man can see the Light is real and that is rael-ian. Nibiru is not only a planet we can SEE NOW but a place inside our hearts a passage we open in our minds every 12,500 years. The ancients knew this…
Let’s grobaru wahmingu! —That is, ‘Let’s global warming’ in mangled into semi-Japanese Katakana pronunciation as reported by the 3Yen’s correspondent-at-large, Den4.
In the exclusive photo below shows Japanese Tentacle Sex* Santa —one of The Deep Ones†— giving Cthulhu a perfect Chaos-mas gift of a Global Warmer. (~_^)
For more tentacle Christmas fun in Japan, refer to the previous 3Yen posts…
• Monster/kaiju Christmas cumguts (3Yen / 2008-12-05)
• Kaiju ‘Deck the Halls…’ (3Yen / 2010-12-08)
• Spinning Squid Christmas Tree (3Yen / 2008-12-06 — See right.)