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Archive for the 'Faux news flash' Category

4/28/2013

Japan plans to restart its unrepaired nuclear reactors to celebrate ‘Cesium Week’

In celebration of its “Golden Week” national holiday (3Yen / 2006-05-04), Japan has decided to re-start (japandailypress.com / 2013-03-24) all its unrepaired and failing nuclear reactors
renaming japan golden week on twitter

LDP Renames Golden Week As “Cesium Week” In Honor Of July Reactor Restarts — @DailyGomiuri (@DailyGomiuri) April 28, 2013


Fukushima-Meltdown-Merit-Badge


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4/6/2013

Japan’s newest Shuttlecraft launched!

Kyødø FauxNews / 2013Apr04
Tajima Motor Corporation, a maker of racing cars, unveils in Shizuoka, central Japan, a prototype shelter made of fiber-reinforced plastic that can accommodate up to twenty people in the event of a space storms (or earthquake-tsunami).

—via Floating tsunami shelter | Kyødø News | Photograghs

_________________
On the official website of Tajima Motor Corporation (goofy Google Translate) we can learn that inside of the rescue “SAFE+” shuttlecraft is equipped with the all-important karaoke disaster countermeasures.

Japan-karaoke-shuttlecraft
Caption:
Shizuoka Prefectural Governor, Heita Kawakatsu and Soichiro Fukutake, president of Benesse Corp., test drive prototype No. 1 of the SAFE+ rescuecraft.


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4/5/2013

A small point about sumo

Covering the news of the sumo world yesterday, a charming Fuji TV newscaster makes a small point… and then realizes it.
fun_newscaster_ani
Embiggen the small point to 640×360 px.


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3/29/2013

Japanese kitchen design for best seks

To enjoy the best in Kitchen Design Norwich Buttseks.

By now, my wang was shriveling like a slug in a salt mine. The seemingly never-ending streams of Aunt Jemima Pancake batter soon had me coated like a plasterer’s radio. I can’t wait to devour the batter from wet spot on my mammy’s flowered fanny. With my long, chromed whisk, I thrusted deep into Jemima’s crusting trench made her quiver like an earthquake in a reclaimed land next to Tokyo Bay.
buttsex-explained
Their quiver is as an open sepulchre, they are all mighty mmmm


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3/26/2013

Images of Bigfoot robbing a convenience store in Shizuoka Japan!

Shizuoka police have released this security camera image to the public asking for their help in identifying the robber.
Obviously, it’s Hibagon*, Japan’s Bigfoot.

japanese bigfoot hibagon

Image released of the robbing of a convenience store in Shizuoka
Shizuoka Shimbun 2013/3/14
(giga-goofy Google Translate)

In the early morning hours of March 13th, the Family Mart convenience store in Miho Shimizu-ku, Shizuoka was robbed. The robber took 103,000 yen ($1,092 USD) in cash. Now, the Shimizu police have released to the public an image from the store’s security cameras of the robber.
According to the police, the robber was 175 cm (5′10″) tall and hiding his appearance with a facial covering. He was wearing and black jacket and trousers, gloves, and had a small knife, such as a fruit knife.
Police have interviewed the clerk of the convenience store and nearby residents, and they are now investigating how the robbery was performed and the robber’s escape route.
_______________________
Hibagon
*Learn more about Japan’s Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch, the Hibagon, at cryptomundo.com and Wikipedia.
hibagon drawing japan bigfoot


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3/1/2013

Toshinori Muto of Japan tees off Cthulhu?

Toshinori Muto of Japan quickly tees off before the dread Sand Cthulhu has His Evil Way with the hapless Japanese golfer.

strange japanese golfer tentacle
Rest-of-the-story…

On the first day of the New Zealand PGA Championship Toshinori Muto of Japan tees off at The Hills Golf Club in Queenstown on Feb. 28th, 2013. The Otago Daily Times reported that Muto (34) said, said-openthe views at The Hills are completely alien to Japanese-based golferssaid-closed (Otago Daily Times Online News | March 1, 2013).

Posted by Taro in Faux news flash, Sports | 3 Comments »

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3/1/2013

Do you get the drift of Tokyo train manners?

Right now in the last throes of winter, the air in Japan is extremely dry if you get my “drift.”

tokyo train manners poster dandruff metro
Click to view
the original non-parody poster.

Check out the 3Yen’s many other non-dandruff related train manners posters for the Tokyo Metro here.


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1/11/2013

Manners for Tokyo’s ‘Tsukin Jigoku’—commuter hell

When the Tokyo subway cars are running at their daily 200% of capacity*, please line up and wait your turn to get kicked in the head.

This month’s manners poster for the Tokyo Metro subway…
2013 jan manners poster tokyo metro subway train
Fair Use — Parody

View the original poster above for January 2013 at the Tokyo Metro Manners Foundation.

tokyo-subway-smash..
Daily Mail | 19 November 2012: Photos reveal squashed Tokyo subway commuters squeezed on to trains
________
*Business Insider | Jan. 11, 2012: Take A Look At Why The Tokyo Metro Is Known As 'Commuter Hell'


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12/29/2012

Japan plans for Plutonium Pocky™!

Realizing there is a gaping gap in Glico’s Pocky lineup*, Japan is obviously stockpiling for the introduction of plutonium-flavored Pocky!
Yummy!

Plutonium Pocky parody fair-use Fair Use — Parody

Japan sticks to plan for extracting plutonium, but has little use for the tons it already has
Washington Post (AP News) December 28, 2012
a high-tech facility that would convert spent fuel into a plutonium-uranium mix designed for the next generation of reactors supposed to provide fuel while minimizing nuclear waste storage problems. Those ambitions are falling apart because years of attempts to build a “fast breeder” reactor, which would use the reprocessed fuel, appear to be ending in failure…more…

Previous posts on the 3Yen about other exciting and creative Pocky offerings include:
   • Get POCKYed! (3Yen / 2011-11-12)
   • Japanese ’schoolgirls’ want you to take a pokey
      (3Yen / 2010-02-15)
   • All Pockyed-up on Valentines Deay (3Yen / 2010-02-05)


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12/26/2012

Doin’ the Japanese Cabinet Shuffle

japan cabinet DailyGomiuri Official Govt Photographer admits to phopshop..
~DailyGomiuri, on Twitter

The truth is the government really does just Photoshop new heads on the official Japan Cabinet portraits since Prime Minister changes every year and while in office the Prime Minister shuffles his cabinet at least three times.

japanese cabinet muppets and dobu nezumi 溝鼠 どぶねずみ


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