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Archive for the 'Faux news flash' Category

7/9/2013

Finally, Japan invents a *useful* robot, Part 2

Long-time contributor to the 3Yen, MARKed TRAIL, just sent us this hot robotics tip…

Here’s a continuation of your story, said-openFinally, Japan invents a *useful* robot (3Yen / 2013-02-15).said-closed

What MARKed TRAIL is refering to is the cruel joke that ALL of Japan’s robots failed to help in the nuke plant meltdown (3Yen / 2011-04-05). That is, Japan has spent trillions of both corporate and public money on robot development, but did no have any robots capable of helping in the aftermath of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster*.

________________________
Previous posts about Japan’s continued efforts in making useless wanking robots include:
japanese wanking-bots animated
   • Japan’s useless anthropomorphic robots
3Yen / 2010-10-15
   • 3Yen quoted by BBC & The Independent
3Yen / 2010-07-17
   • Wanking automation
3Yen / 2007-08-01 | See right. ↗


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6/27/2013

Monsterous alien slugs invade Japan!!

Den4, the 3Yen’s correspondent-at-large warns of Alien Slugs!
Where’s Gojira or Ultraman to save the day?

slug on diet bldg japan
Creative Commons photo credit to the flickr galleries of rhonddawildlifediary and Dick Johnson.

Giant alien slug invades Japan… again
rocketnews24.com 2013/06/27
Japan is currently under threat by Limax Maximus: a giant slug with a distinctive leopard-print skincan be found increasing at an alarming rate.
As Japanese netizens read the headline, almost unanimously, comments of “It’s Eleking!” echoed like the horrific memories of the nation’s previous encounters with alien slugsAlthough, Ultraman had defeated Elekingit returned several timesmore…

Eleking (Wiki) is, of course, a space kaiju/monster from the Japanese TV series, Ultra Seven, and who then reappeared in the series Ultraman Taro ← (Hey, “Taro” is my name!).


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6/23/2013

Stargate suddenly opens in Japan!

Japan’s feverish work over years on its independent Stargate Project has resulted in success!

nagoshi-no-Harae 夏越の祓 at Imamiya-jinja 今宮神社 japanese stargate kyoto 2013
Embiggen
to the original, full-sized photo on @KyotoDailyPhoto Twitpic

Rest-of-the-story…
Imamiya Shrine in Kyoto, like many shrines throughout Japan, has erected a great ring of miscanthus reeds for the “Nagoshi no harae”–Summer Purification Ceremonymore...

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Previous 3Yen reports on the Japanese Stargate program include:
Stargate suddenly opens in Kyoto Japan! (3Yen | 2012-06-29
Japanese Stargate mysteriously appears (3Yen | 2005-03-18)
Stargate Mt Fuji (3Yen | 2008-07-02)
Schoolgirl contemplates the Stargate (3Yen | 2009-06-20)
Japan’s Stargate survives Earth’s Pole Shift! (3Yen | 2011-04-08)


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4/28/2013

Japan plans to restart its unrepaired nuclear reactors to celebrate ‘Cesium Week’

In celebration of its “Golden Week” national holiday (3Yen / 2006-05-04), Japan has decided to re-start (japandailypress.com / 2013-03-24) all its unrepaired and failing nuclear reactors
renaming japan golden week on twitter

LDP Renames Golden Week As “Cesium Week” In Honor Of July Reactor Restarts — @DailyGomiuri (@DailyGomiuri) April 28, 2013


Fukushima-Meltdown-Merit-Badge


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4/6/2013

Japan’s newest Shuttlecraft launched!

Kyødø FauxNews / 2013Apr04
Tajima Motor Corporation, a maker of racing cars, unveils in Shizuoka, central Japan, a prototype shelter made of fiber-reinforced plastic that can accommodate up to twenty people in the event of a space storms (or earthquake-tsunami).

—via Floating tsunami shelter | Kyødø News | Photograghs

_________________
On the official website of Tajima Motor Corporation (goofy Google Translate) we can learn that inside of the rescue “SAFE+” shuttlecraft is equipped with the all-important karaoke disaster countermeasures.

Japan-karaoke-shuttlecraft
Caption:
Shizuoka Prefectural Governor, Heita Kawakatsu and Soichiro Fukutake, president of Benesse Corp., test drive prototype No. 1 of the SAFE+ rescuecraft.


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4/5/2013

A small point about sumo

Covering the news of the sumo world yesterday, a charming Fuji TV newscaster makes a small point… and then realizes it.
fun_newscaster_ani
Embiggen the small point to 640×360 px.


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3/29/2013

Japanese kitchen design for best seks

To enjoy the best in Kitchen Design Norwich Buttseks.

By now, my wang was shriveling like a slug in a salt mine. The seemingly never-ending streams of Aunt Jemima Pancake batter soon had me coated like a plasterer’s radio. I can’t wait to devour the batter from wet spot on my mammy’s flowered fanny. With my long, chromed whisk, I thrusted deep into Jemima’s crusting trench made her quiver like an earthquake in a reclaimed land next to Tokyo Bay.
buttsex-explained
Their quiver is as an open sepulchre, they are all mighty mmmm


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3/26/2013

Images of Bigfoot robbing a convenience store in Shizuoka Japan!

Shizuoka police have released this security camera image to the public asking for their help in identifying the robber.
Obviously, it’s Hibagon*, Japan’s Bigfoot.

japanese bigfoot hibagon

Image released of the robbing of a convenience store in Shizuoka
Shizuoka Shimbun 2013/3/14
(giga-goofy Google Translate)

In the early morning hours of March 13th, the Family Mart convenience store in Miho Shimizu-ku, Shizuoka was robbed. The robber took 103,000 yen ($1,092 USD) in cash. Now, the Shimizu police have released to the public an image from the store’s security cameras of the robber.
According to the police, the robber was 175 cm (5′10″) tall and hiding his appearance with a facial covering. He was wearing and black jacket and trousers, gloves, and had a small knife, such as a fruit knife.
Police have interviewed the clerk of the convenience store and nearby residents, and they are now investigating how the robbery was performed and the robber’s escape route.
_______________________
Hibagon
*Learn more about Japan’s Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch, the Hibagon, at cryptomundo.com and Wikipedia.
hibagon drawing japan bigfoot


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3/1/2013

Toshinori Muto of Japan tees off Cthulhu?

Toshinori Muto of Japan quickly tees off before the dread Sand Cthulhu has His Evil Way with the hapless Japanese golfer.

strange japanese golfer tentacle
Rest-of-the-story…

On the first day of the New Zealand PGA Championship Toshinori Muto of Japan tees off at The Hills Golf Club in Queenstown on Feb. 28th, 2013. The Otago Daily Times reported that Muto (34) said, said-openthe views at The Hills are completely alien to Japanese-based golferssaid-closed (Otago Daily Times Online News | March 1, 2013).

Posted by Taro in Faux news flash, Sports | 3 Comments »

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3/1/2013

Do you get the drift of Tokyo train manners?

Right now in the last throes of winter, the air in Japan is extremely dry if you get my “drift.”

tokyo train manners poster dandruff metro
Click to view
the original non-parody poster.

Check out the 3Yen’s many other non-dandruff related train manners posters for the Tokyo Metro here.


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