The true origin of Kumamon* revealed in this photo of his escaping his spaceship’s crash landing in a Japanese playground.*He claims to be the yurukyara/”loose character”—the harmless mascot bear of Kumamoto Prefecture.
A few of the many previous 3Yen reports of ET Kumamon’s shenanigans in Japan include:
“Wanky,” long-time reader of the 3Yen, just sent in this jammin’ gem of Japan…
Previous “jamming” Japan reports on the 3Yen include:
Dearest Leader, who is a perfect incarnation of the appearance that a leader should have…Kumamon 2016!
Previous reports Kumamon/くまモン—Great Bear, Who Descended From Heaven—
on the 3Yen include:
TED GETS HIS FREAK ON AS KUMAMON WATCHES! (3Yen 2015-Aug-28) →
Since today is Loser Day—August 15, 1945—Japan’s day of surrender of WWII, I’ll present this bit of fake post war trivia…
Sunken Pillboxes Guarded Jap Coast
Modern Mechanix magazine / March, 1947
Now that Japan’s horrid, torrid Dog Days* are full force, I’ll present…
Japanese Hat Parasol in Place with Ribbed Edge Extending Well over Wearer’s Shoulders
via Mostly Forbidden Zone (tumblr)
So, you’re going to take an August vacation in Japan? Don’t.
Cue Good Morning, Vietnam
— What’s the weather like out there?
It’s hot. Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking.
— Well, can you tell me what it feels like.
Fool, it’s hot! I told you again! Were you born on the sun? It’s damn hot! I saw – It’s so damn hot, I saw little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. It’s that hot! Do you know what I’m talking about.” What do you think it’s going to be like tonight? “It’s gonna be hot and wet! That’s nice if you’re with a lady, but it ain’t no good if you’re in the [concrete] jungle.
Last week was Eel Eating Day, Doyo-no-ushinohi, when folks here celebrate with the custom of eating grilled eel to gain stamina to beat the horrid heat of Japan. Only problem is the Japanese have eaten most of their endangered eels and now have resorted to substitutes…
pottiiino.tumblr.com (Google Translate)
Eel bread of Dog Days … Anything goes …
(as seen at the Nikke Colton Plaza in Chiba Prefecture†)
Eating eel on Ox Day (ushi-no-hi) was on July 24 and again on August 2-ish thanks the vagaries of the old and new Japanese calendar.
Previous reports of Japanese Dog Days of grilled Eels on the 3Yen include:
All the rage in Japan, ri-i-i-ght. What good is writing satirical news about Japan when reality is weirder?
Moss-watching catching on among young women
Kyodo News July 26, 2015 —NAGANO, Japan…
It’s official, meh.
Or, as one Olympics journalist quipped…
the Tokyo 2020 logo, ″ looks like something you’d see at the top of a stereo manual from the 1980s″—The Infinite Curve.
Organizers reveal emblem for 2020 Tokyo Olympics
The Japan Times | July 25, 2015More…
Previous reports the craptacular 2020 Tokyo Olympics on the 3Yen include:
Chanbara*, Japanese kids playing with sticks like make-believe swords was “culturally appropriated” and funked for this music video of samurai fighting in the garage.
Featuring Flying Lotus & Kamasi Washington | Brainfeeder 2015 | Directed by Carlos Lopez Estrada | Produced by Zach Wechter
*Learn more about Chanbara swordplay at: