National Cuteness Cult(tm) strikes again

Arrrg. Every year or so some obscure beast is promoted to super-stardom by the Nippon’s National Cuteness Cult(tm). Poor “Futa” the red panda has been registered as a trademark, just to prevent “exploitation” of his image, sheesh.

Standing ovation: Panda earns applause, fame in Japan
LA Daily News – Jun 3, 2005
Tokyo — Futa has a great pair of legs, and they have won the red panda fans across Japan, spots on the evening news and a starring role in an upcoming TV commercial.
Since the two-year-old, 58-centimetre-tall animal was photographed standing upright by a national newspaper last month, he has become the toast of animal lovers in Japan…more…

guardrail panda

3Yen news EXCLUSIVE: Panda Terrorists sabotage Japanese roads!

As I mentioned in the last article, perhaps “Futa” the red panda may not be happy with his super-star status.
Here is 3Yen news EXCLUSIVE of photographic proof of the real Futa-kun.
Mystery solved—->

Roadside metal debris found at 37,893 places
The Yomiuri Shimbun, June 10, 2005
Sharp metal fragments–believed to be automotive debris–have been found in guardrails alongside roads at 37,893 locations, the Construction and Transport Ministry said Wednesday.
According to a laboratory that examined 12 samples at the request of the ministry, eight pieces were from car bodies and are believed to have been ripped off vehicles during collisions. Two other pieces also are believed to be vehicular in origin. ..more…

“Debu” ? Blame yo mama.

yo mama-san
Debu (fat)? Japanese medical research says, “Blame yo mama.”
The research centers on leptin, commonly called “brown fat” It seems that the leptin response at the early stages of life is critial control of overweight later in life. This early “leptin surge” of fat hormone in pregant mothers points to therapeutic treatments involving leptin transport hormones to the brain. Hey there’s hope for losing my fat ass yet.

Mothers’ bad eating habits linked to child, June 10
… “Obesity has increased at an alarming rate in Western countries and is now a worldwide public health problem,” said Shingo Fujii of the Kyoto University Graduate School of Medicine in Japan. “Genetic and environmental factors, such as a high-calorie diet, are thought to contribute to the prevalence of obesity.…..more

“デブ” Debu means ‘fat’ in Japanese. “デブス” (Debusu) means fat and ugly from the contraction of ‘debu’ (fat) and ‘busu’ (ugly).

I’m baaaaack

It has been a looooooong time, but I finally busted out of GitMo and now I’m shoveling the Pink Chirashi* off the news desk here at
Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
All seeing eye of Taro

*Pink chirashi are flyers with semi-pornographic pictures. See my take on this Pink business here.
No war. Just Pink Chirashi!

Taro’s philosophy of life

Taro left a message on the 3Yen answering machine saying that he was running off to Bora Bora with his ocha-girl and promised to send postcards in the coming weeks from his catamaran in South Seas.

Note: If you miss his news, don’t forget to shout at him in the comments below. ;)

For better lamb for Japan, feed ‘em chocolate?!

I cannot wait to try out this “chocolate lamb” which ought to go well with snipe sauce and arboreal spaghetti.

Lamb gets chocolate flavour makeover
Australia—South Australian sheep scientists are going to feed lambs chocolate to see how it alters the flavour…. Dr Zibby Cruk from the University of Adelaide, believes leftover chocolate from chocolate factories could be one way to win over cooks in China, Korea and Japan … more…
choco lamb

Vegetarian in Japan? Ha, ha, ha…

I’ve seen a lot of funny “Vegetarian food” being promoted in Japan including “Vegetarian Ramen” meaning only vegetables in a pork stock for noodles or “Vegetarian Salad” with bacon.
However the funnies for me are the cute OLs at hanami cherry blossom time proclaiming they, “don’t eat meat” while chomping on a stone-cold Big Mac that was purchased 4 hours before for the company picnic. Seriously, how CAN anyone be vegetarian in Japan??

Vegetarian in Tokyo doesn’t always mean meat-free
japantoday, commentary, by Beau Miller

Also see the city of Yokohama’s advice on their “YOKE” website: Herbivorous and Happy in Japan !?


In amazing to me that today Japan has a “Black Ships” festivals to celebrate the opening of Japan. Now that’s putting some spin on being a loser.
To read more about Japanese contact with the West , visit this great website of Massachusetts Institute of Technology—Visualizing Cultures.

ON this day: Thursday, March 31
1854 - US Commodore Perry signs the treaty of Kanagawa with Japan, opening two Japanese ports to trade with outside world.

Japanese women moves to a top post in the troubled supermarket chain operator Daiei Inc *mabybe)

NHK TV’s Morning News is reporting this morning that the mega-screwed up supermarket chain operator Daiei Inc which is under receivership of Industrial Revitalization Corporation of Japan will have a new FEMALE “shacho” (vague Japanese title that can mean company president, CEO, or just a director) This new shacho will be Fumiko Hayashi. Read her profile as the former president of BMW Tokyo Corporation here.
NHK sure was in love with her and spent five minutes their airtime yammering on this huge advance for Japanese women.
Fumiko Hayashi

Daiei shareholders stamp rehab
The Japan Times, March 31, 2005
… After the shareholders’ meeting, Daiei announced that Fumiko Hayashi, 58, a former president of BMW Tokyo Corp., would become an adviser as of Friday. She is expected to be named chief executive officer when Daiei’s new leadership formally takes the helm in late May…. …more..

Today is Arson Day in Japan

You folks in the Real World you still have time toprepare to celebrate March 29th:

ARSON DAY! when my favorite J-babe of all time, Yaoya Oshichi, crazy-bitch-in-love who started the Great Tokyo Fire at Sugamo Temple. Her punishment was execution by fire in 1683 when she was seventeen. Oshichi’s sad love story was recounted in kabuki dramas and traditional theater.
Yaoya Oshichi LET’S BURN HAPPY!