‘No bouding port’ …huh?

As seen in Tokyo’s Shibuya Station…



…the worst attempt at English to ever grace the streets of Tokyo. # engrish # Shibuya # 渋谷駅 # もう無理
#Brad‏ @ich1yenthoughts | 11 Jan 2018



No bouding port the platform
Amoing torans only

(—Stairs are for deboarding passengers only—)

Other fun examples of Japanese signage include:


tokyonama-logoshopTokyonama, importer/distributer of original products from Japan–Geneva/Tokyo

The boom after the BIG BOOM

Google Image Search this again for a better date and details about the photo

Taken in 1949, the photo below shows a lively Yokohama street targeting US servicemen with an Atomic Bomb Variety Show and a Japan Surender [sic] Bar. This exhibits the signs of the start of an economic boom after the BIG BOOM in Hiroshima on August 6, 1945.




McCOWPISS® milkshake — new at McDonald’s Japan


For some reason, Calpis®, Japan’s top-selling milky vanilla-flavored yogurt soft drink, had to be rebranded with the “Calpico” trademark in the Latin America and Asian markets just because Calpis® sounds way too much like “cow piss.”
So, you can imagine my delight with the new product—the McShake + Calpis = McCOWPISS® campaign.

The girls in my neighborhood taqueria back home in Denver giggle every time I order a “Calpico®” with my tacos.
Even they “know” what it really is, he, hee.



‘Do you know Japanese ______?’

“Do you know Japanese ______?” is a quirky Japanese-English sentence construction you will constantly be asked in Japan:
“Do you know sushi?” “Do you know sumo?” “Do you know Japanese sento (public bath)?” or in this case, “Do you know Viennese coffee?


Damn. I’ve been suckering into a really old, bad Japanese joke—an “oyaji gag” with the above BuzzFeed Japan post of, “Do you know Viennese coffee?
Japanese follows the proper name of the the city Vienna, “Wien” as it is in German by writing it in Japanese phonetically as “Wi~n” (ウィーン) and can be mispronounced Wee-na (wiener) like the sausage. Therefore, Japanese “Viennese coffee” can be “Wiener coffee” which is what Japanese refers to the Austrian style drink with whipped cream on top of coffee. Japanese also has other fun words for ordering coffee such as “American coffee” (アメリカンコーヒー) is a largish weak coffee and a “Dutch coffee” (ダッチ・コーヒー) is cold brew.

“Do you know Japanese jokes?” They are called “oyaji gag” (親父ギャグ) —literally meaning “father’s joke”—Japan’s equivalent of what would be called “dad jokes” in English based on a bad pun or a play on words. Japanese “Viennese coffee” has plenty of this engrish gag

Goofy signs help Japanese city with foreign tourists

Japan city tackles language barrier with quirky signs
icon_winkBBC News (World) 2015-Feb-09
The signs are in use in the city of Morioka, Iwate Prefecture, where officials hope they will make visitors who don’t speak Japanese feel more welcome…more…

pork-inside_640x-1_spicySee all the goofy signs at: www5.pref.iwate.jp…

A few of our many previous reports of goofy Japanese signage include:



Somehow I feel this is the perfect brand name for a 6-pack in workaholic Japan.


Industry first! No new carbohydrates genre
  According to our company

Zero Life is a a pale lager beer fron Asahi Corooration’s Orion Breweries Limited in Urasoe-City, Okinawa.

Previous reports of beer/life/zero on the 3Yen include:


Finger nuptials from KFC Japan

New FINGER NUPtialS for a perfect Kentucky Christmas—according to KFC Japan


goofy Google Translate of @KFC_jp

\ Don’t worry about oily hands anymore! /
★ “Finger nap” appeared! ★
If you are in the vicinity of a store, please try by all means ♪



Since Christmas is Japan’s biggest hot-date night (3Yen / 2005-12-14), some people have remarked that: ‵‵KFC is fooling no-one. Those are contraceptives for Christmas Eve.″(@noruweijin)

Actually, “finger nups” is not a misspelling of KFC Japan’s abbreviated/coined term “finger napkins” (フィンガーナップ)—Rather it’s a shrewd observation that most single Japanese will be spending Christmas Eve alone (3Yen / 2007-12-25) having finger NUPtials with themselves.

For Japanese, Kentucky Fried Chicken is the ideal Christmas dinner (3Yen / 2012-11-25), so this promotion starts today, December 15—details on the KFC Japan website.



Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Step right up into the Cyunt Booth please…

Let’s CYUNT happy!
“Cyunt” is purikura/photo sticker photo booth (Wiki) for creating schoolgirl type photos.

goofy Google Translate of korona.co.jp…
Japan’s newest photo booth machine, Cyun’t
Let’s experience who ‘Love the pre’ faster than ♡ (^ o ^) ♡
Cyunt’s biggest feature is “pre-character me” that lets you create your own cartoon caricature using Cyunt’s software tools that recognize the position and shape of facial parts such as eyes, mouth, eyebrows from the photographed image.


Cyun’t is writen in the Japanese katakana script for foreign words and pronounced Kyunto (キュント), which is as close as Japanese can get to ‘cünt.’

Our previous reports of unfortunate engrish on signs in Japan include:


Party house FAP FAP FAP


goofy Google Translate of club-fap.com
Our “Fujisawa Asahi Paradise” (abbreviation: FAP) is available as a party space…





Previous fapping reports include:


Drink PET SWEAT™ — only in Japan


via @AdsilaMika | Oct. 5, 2016

PET SWEAT™ has been marketed for the past seven years as an energy drink for dogs, which is rather funny since dogs don’t really sweat except on areas not covered with fur, such as their nose and paw pads (Wiki).pocari_sweat

PET SWEAT™ is a product line spin-off of the Japan’s most popular (and most unfortunately-named) sports drink, Pocari Sweat™ →
(3Yen / 2014-05-16)

Our previous “Sweat” reports include: