Big underbelly exposed by Steven Seagal


The underbelly of poker is exposed by Japan’s homeboy*, Steven Seagal, in his new film Gutshot Straight…

Steven Seagal Stars In New Poker Movie ‘Gutshot Straight’ | 2014Aug06
Gutshot Straight has a North American release date set for Sept. 1, 2014
Gutshot Straight follows 2013’s Runner, Runner, which featured Ben Affleck and Justin Timberlake and was about the underbelly of the online poker world...more...

In case you wonder how great this new Seagal film is going to be, check out Gutshot Straight’s trailer.

Previous 3Yen reports of His Immense Eminence, the Potentate of the Poonani, Master Seagal include:

No one’s got moves like Steven Seagal except…

Master of the martial arts and Japan homeboy*, Steven Seagal, is featured in triplicate in this exclusive clip looking behind the scenes of the fight scenes from his newest Direct-to-DVD masterpiece “Force of Execution” released on December 17.

Click to play.

No one’s got moves like Seagal in ‘Force of Execution’
USA TODAY — 2013/dec/17
Steven Seagal…working with other actors to choreograph movements and techniques. He works with one guy, rehearsing a strike to his neck with an arm and saying, “In reality, I cut people’s heads off.”

Actually, "No one’s got moves like Seagal" except those two stand-ins waiting behind him ready to double for all his action and running for him. Check out the three Steven Seagals lined up in a row in the middle point of the video clip.


Steven-Seagal dead in murder suicide!

A Steven Seagal, who has a reputation as an extremely angry guy at times, has been found dead in what the police are calling a “murder suicide.” Luckily…
                  …the perp of the murder suicide is not Japan’s homeboy bubba buddha, Steven Seagal, but some other angry guy.

Pair’s deaths a murder suicide
The Detroit News | 2013sep29
Police said Sunday two people found shot to death inside a Wixom apartment Thursday died in a murder suicide and domestic dispute.
Steven-Seagal Quang Ly, 40, and the 25-year-old–manwere found inside the Stone Ridge Apartments complex near Pontiac Trail and Beck roads Thursday morning
Steven-Seagal Ly is a nationalized citizen who had a reputation as an “extremely angry guy at times.”


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Godzilla from the future!

Godzilla 2014 poster
Embiggen to Godzilla size, 1024 × 1514 px.

Godzilla 2014 poster
GODZILLA 2014 ( is starting to raise up from the bowels of the Deep for yet another affront on the gullible public’s sensibilities. Above is the new Godzilla poster foisted off today at Comic-Con (details at

This gaijin Godzilla made by Hollywood promises not to be a repeat of the Godzilla 1998 horror, but a reboot of the Godzilla franchise from 1954. Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures claim that this one, “has no connections with the previous American remake.*

Japan’s homeboy©, Steven Seagal, dances a lame lezginka.

Japan’s homeboy© and reincarnated tulka holy man, Steven Seagal, dances a lame lezginka and parties with the strongman of the Chechen Republic, Ramzan Kadyrov (Wiki).

Click for the dancing.
Steven Seagal dance lezginka dancing

Seagal punks Putin

Putin Seagal Summit

Last month the 3Yen’s covered Japan’s homeboy*, Steven Seagal hanging out with Russian President Vladimir Putin (3Yen / 2013-03-15). →

Now additional photos have surfaced from that Seagal-Putin Summit held early last March. Here’s Seagal putting “bunny ears” on Putin at that Russian martial arts photo-op. ↓

seagal punks putin

Diplomat Dennis Rodman’s success bodes bad for Japan


Judging from the headline below, Japan’s homeboy buddha (3Yen/ 2011-03-04), Steven Seagal, is obviously upset by Dennis Rodman’s diplomatic coup of recruiting Kim Jong Un to the NBA (TIME magazine / 2013Mar12). Japan’s favorite son, Seagal (3Yen /2006-10-24), must be very worried about the sworn enemy of Japan, North Korea, and the possible rapprochement with the United States and the NBA.

Steven Seagal I Wanna Be Like Rodman | 2013/03/13
Move over Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un, because ’90s action star Steven
Seagal has jumped on the whole random celeb visiting a world leader


Count Chocula vs Vlad the Impaler
Vlad the Impaler vs Count Chocula

Japan’s ex-expat Aikido Hair Master

The Wackadoodle Hair Of Steven Seagal is a fun photo essay of the True Mystery of the Orientthe everchanging hair of Japan’s first foriegn Aikido master of the martial arts and reincarnated Tulka, Steven Seagal, from the ‘I Am Bored’ website.

Click to view the entire image.
seagal hairline crazy

Cropped image above—Click to view the original, full-sized, 1240 × 1754px, image with captions on

Previous 3Yen reports of His Immense Eminence, the Potentate of the Poonani include:
1 hour more than you want inside Seagal’s head (3Yen 2012-10-18)
Steven Seagal = dead puppies? (3Yen 2011-08-31)
The Tulku loves his sex slaves (3Yen 2011-04-24)
‘Sheep Impact’ — Seagal’s latest blockbuster! (3Yen 2011-04-21)

An hour more than you want inside Steven Seagal’s head

Steven Seagal, Japan’s first foriegn Aikido master of the martial arts and reincarnated Tulka* is questioned in embarrassing depth on Michael Schiavello’s interview series—The Voice Versus Steven Seagal

An hour inside the head of Steven Seagal | Oct. 17, 2012
notes from the interview:
  •A preteen Steven Seagal learned martial arts from a cook at a restaurant who noticed Steven’s fast and fluid dishwashing skills.

  •On his worst movies: “Unfortunately there are many.” “We are subject to the financer and what they want us to do and the studios and what they want us to do and we don’t control the show. So I made a lot of terrible movies and a few good ones.” More...

Japan’s homeboy still crazy after all these years

Wo0t! Japan’s homeboy© Steven Seagal is having his 60th birthday* today!
doll-boy steven seagal

into the sun steven seagalMoar!~