Kentucky Fried ‘ween

Tokyo is in the full throes of Halloween right now and Tokyo Fashion Week (below) isn’t helping.

Other Japanese fashion victims featured include:



Cones of Japan

beaten-but-aliveembiggen to 1280 × 1920 px

(No title)by Mrs Tsk *, The thoughts of Chairman Momus. 9th Oct. 2016


Here are few of our previous reports of the true survivors of Japan, the Cones:budhha-cone-head



WE’RE BA-a-a-aCK!

Sorry about that gitch that took off-line for the past day, but…

Japanese t-shirt sightings

catch-catch-_t-shirt_girl (via)



Other clothing engRish…

JapaJacket engRish: Whose happy “BITCH” are we?

Holiday in the concrete dead zone of Japan

Tomorrow is “Ocean Day,” a Japanese national holiday (3Yen / 2015-07-20). To get you in a holiday mood, here are a few reverent thoughts of Japan’s seaside holy Concrete Tetrapods would be apropos.


A reader’s email commenting about terapods:
fishy quoter left>I think there are called dolosse.fishy quoter right

Wow. You learn something every day.
South Africa claims concrete tetrapods were invented in 1963 for use in Cape Town, and that the Afrikaans word for tetrapod is dolosse.

However according to The Japan Times, in 1950, the Laboratoire Dauphinois d’Hydraulique in Grenoble, France first made them for erosion control.
Looking around at the history of of concrete, basically, nobody invented them–they spontaneously appeared from outer space in the early 1950s around the same time as the UFO sightings, ha, ha.

To quote Alex Kerr author of “Dogs and Demons: Tales from the Dark Side of Japan” (Hill and Wang, 2001):

These projects are mostly unnecessary or worse than unnecessary. It turns out that wave action on tetrapods wears the sand away faster and causes greater erosion than would be the case if the beaches had been left alone.

Surfers and naturalists (and anybody sane) hate the tetrapods because over time they erode away all sand on beaches and destroy the beach habitat creating a concrete dead zone, arrrg.

Our previous reports of Ocean-cum-Marine Day/Umi no Hi include:




Reaction to Prince’s death in Japan

“Derpus Maximus,” a frequent contributor to the 3Yen wrote in to ask:

Q: Who is this "Prince" and why give a puce puck about "プリンス" when most that comes up in google japan are crappy cats? angry


A: "プリンス" (Prince-san) is a favorite character in the Nekatosume moblie game app in Japan and the The Artist Formerly Known as the Artist Formerly Known as Prince and Now Known as Prince Again was never big-in-Japan. Likewise, Prince was never is longer big on Japan. (There is no Prince playing on Tokyo radio stations—Japan MTV and the other half dozen music television stations are totally ignoring his death, unlike the big deal made here for the death of David Bowie last January.)
He only came to Japan a few times—the last being in in September of 1996 as shown in the photo of him at Narita Airport.




Extreme Tokyo train seating

yamamote tokyo train crowd packing
How to get your own seat on Tokyo’s
← overcrowded trains of the Yamamote Line.


山手線 — ヨッピー (@yoppymodel) Apr. 7, 2016 Translation: The Guardian of the Yamanote Line


Prior Art*:
For many years, Mr. Cloudy Bongwater has solved the problem of finding a seat on crowded Tokyo trains. The Japanese call the “Train Hammock Gaijin/foreigner“—Read the Japanese accounts of The Mystery of “Uncle Hammock” on the train (google translate) cloudy-bongwater-sling-seat

Other Prior Art reports for extreme seating on Tokyo trains include:



Good TGIF in Japan

Today is Good Friday in Japan, but Shinto-Buddhist Japanese are a bit confused on how to celebrate.


Previous reports of the Crucifixion include:super-sentai-good-friday



Fat-shaming is a public policy in Japan

As a matter of public policy, fat-shaming is the law in Japan…and I’m big outlaw*…


Japan doesn't sugar coat clothing sizes.
Turning Japanese (@TurningJapanesa) Feb. 22, 2016



love butt
I’m 210 lbs, 6 foot 1 inch (95 kg / 185 cm) I used to get nagged at work by my bosses about me being sumo size.
(Professional sumo has a size minimum of 173 cm and 75 kg or 5ft 7in / 165 lbs.) .

Japan’s `Metabo law´ (METABOlic syndrome) states that people must stay below a government-mandated waistline of 35.4 inches (90cm) for men and 33.5 inches (85cm) for women, which is policed through an annual mandatory health check up.

Companies with more than a certain percentage of over-the-waist-limit employees are slapped with a fine. Overweight employees must attend “re-education camps” aka counselling sessions, and they are subjected to monitoring. Fatsos can be denied promotion and even be demoted as part of their performance review.

Previous 3Yen reports of Japan’s debu/fatso folk include:



Bio-terror explodes in Japan! (the start of pollen season)

Q: What happens when you mistake “Pollen Guard EX” allergy cream for Japanese SuperGlue®?


A: Strong, fast-acting, Cyanoacrylate adhesive sure does a hell of a better job than wimpy anti-pollen nasal cream.

plugged nose

Here’s couple of dubious Japanese products: anti-pollen cream and soap…

We offer “Pollen Guard EX” anti-pollen cream and “Muse” medical soap in order to meet the changing customers’ demands by utilizing our advanced development capabilities and technologies.
—via Commodity products | Company Profile | Earth Chemical Co., Ltd..



Previous reports of the horrors of pollen in Japan include: