Lacking proper posteriors*, flat-assed Japanese have opted for creating derriere-shaped melons!
Japanese Farmer Mitsuo Shibata Grows Butt-Shaped Watermelon
The Huffington Post | 09/05/2014
…conjoined watermelons are common enough in Japan that there is a specific phrase for them: “futago suika,” which translates as “twin watermelons.”
The above video is not to be confused with the naughtyNSFW video, Watermelon-vs-Butt, at: http://youtu.be/1imL5zGD_h0
Although not a hoax, square watermelons are not exactly new or ‘All the Rage’ in Japan as the KEYC News report below claims.
These melons have been around—or squared off so to speak—for the past 30 years as an odd speciality gift for Japan’s traditional season of bribery called Ochugen/ (3Yen / 2005-07-18).
Square Watermelons all the Rage in Japan
KEYC Mankato News, Weather, Sports / June 27, 2014
…they have received 114 orders from Canada so far. An official of JA Kagawa said he wants to increase the amount of production capacity and expand the supply for overseas.
← How do ya like dem melons? (3Yen / 2009-06-14) and other ancient stories of square watermelons of Japan on the 3Yen include:
With a measure of whimsey, “Elizabeth“—the Phalanx gun system of the JDS Kirishima (DDG-174)(Wiki) protected the Saturday Open House at Yokusuka Naval Base in Tokyo Bay.
The Kirishima was one of five Kongo-class guided missile destroyers of the Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force (JMSDF) gathered at Yokusuka in preparation for a crucial mission…
That “crucial mission” was Saturday’s navy curry contest.
MSDF armada masses; first order is curry contest
The Japan Times | April 18, 2014
One key mission of a group of 15 Maritime Self-Defense Force warships, including four of the nation’s six state-of-the-art Aegis destroyers…gather Saturday at the MSDF base in Yokosuka …[for]… a curry-cooking contest.
“Elizabeth” is of course much more than just a Phalanx gun of a Close-In Weapons System (CIWS).
From the popular manga and anime series “Gintama” (Wiki), Elizabeth is the alien companion “animal” of Katsura, the hero of the series. Elizabeth is actually a general of:
The Renho race of mercenaries that specialize in covert operations, and who act as pets for numerous Earthlings in order to prepare Earth for an invasion (gintama.wikia.com).
Because of its resemblance, the Japanese navy has decked out their Phalanx as “Elizabeth” in much the same way the US Navy has nicknamed it “R2D2″ and the Royal Navy calls it a “Dalek” after the alien villains of the “Doctor Who” TV show (reference).
key ring cute version
If you’re still curious about Elizabeth and Gintama the Motion Picture
(R), check out our previous report:
Japanese bio-terror comes in seaweed, red bean and mayo flavors
(3Yen / 2013-06-15)
Gamera, the former Guardian of the Universe and the kaiju/monster realms (Wiki), has fallen on hard times in his forced retirement of the past several years.
Fuji TV News captured him on video trying to make ends meet working as a security guard at a Donki () discount store in Tokyo.
pic.twitter.com/Yu2feM4MNr— Brian Ashcraft (@Brian_Ashcraft) March 24, 2014
Check out some of the 3Yen’s many posts about Gamera including:
• Gamera captured in Tokyo’s Ginza! (3Yen / 2006-04-25)
• ‘Turtles can fly’ premieres in Japan (3Yen / 2005-07-27)
• Nagasaki’s mutant Crocotutle scare ↓ (3Yen / 2010-08-13)
Bonten Taro — Sex & Fury is a book “trailer” for the May 5th release of the French publisher Le Lézard Noir about Bonten Taro’s life and works. In the style of a graphic novel, ‘Sex & Fury,’ tells Bonten Taro’s story of being an artist of manga, tattoos, films that touched on themes as diverse as the yakuza, horror, Pacific War, Mishima, enka ballads, and the like.
Sex & Fury, Bonten Taro from didizuka on Vimeo.
Bonten Taro is most famous penning the comic, ‘Half-breed Rika’ (凡天太郎 / Konketsuji Rika), in the Weekly Myojo magazine, which was turned into a popular ’70s movie series by Toei Studios. That series was the source of inspiration for copycats like Russ Meyer’s Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and the copy of the copycat, Tarantino*.
Learn more details at the Japanese website: bontengekigakai.wordpress.com
Straight from the late 1930s, the comic “Nancy” (Wiki) offers American ‘prior art*‘ for hinky Japanese Bukkake†.
Don’t miss the previous posts of Bukkake(Wiki) all over the 3Yen including:
• High diver bukkake! (3Yen / 2010-12-29)
• ‘SPOO’ all over Japan (3Yen / 2006-06-14)
• Anime. Bukkake. Dolls.(3Yen / 2005-11-27)
• Flash bukkake (3Yen / 2005-01-08) ↯
A pair of artificial breasts with a built-in heartbeat, an invention from … where else? … Japan, where it was intended as a sleeping aid for young children.
LIFE Magazine photo by Keystone – Mar 16, 1963.
Also see the HELLo KITTY BREAST PUMPS in the Comments section below.
domo arigato mr roboto
View the entire 7-picture sideshow of the pimpbot/pedobot/whatever-bot recruiting in the Tokyo area, which was ripped off from juergenspecht.com.
—Report by the 3Yen’s correspondent-at-large, Den4
Don’t tell the “Ancient Ones” and pray the great Cthulhu doesn’t catch wind of this abuse of the Wise Tentacled Elder Gods, but…
…seemingly coming back to life when soy sauce is poured atop it. The cephalopod's body lifts up and writhes in the bowl, prompting viewers to ask: Is it really dead?
… a seafood dish named odori-don…sometimes prepared with squid and known as the “dancing squid rice bowl” huffingtonpost.com: ‘Dancing Squid’ Phenomenon: How Soy Sauce Brings A Dead Creature Back To ‘Life’
Previous 3Yen reports of Cthulhu’s control of the oceans and expansion into the realm of puny human include:
• Eatin’ lil Cthulhu (3Yen / 2013-03-14)
• Merry Squid-mas from Japan (3Yen / 2012-12-25)
• The ‘Man from Planet Squid-aru’ (3Yen / 2011-07-19)
And of course…
Cthulhu, the evil giant squid, caught on video
(3Yen / 2007-02-14)
Weirdo Japanese factoid of the day…
Thanks to Danny Choo / 末永みらい命 (@dannychoo)’s twitter we have today’s trivia…
All Japanese real estate agents are closed on Wednesday. Reason is Wednesday = Sui (水) in Japanese means water = ‘contracts get washed away’.