Just in case the Japanese octopus-dumpling soda I reported on a few weeks ago was not refreshing enough for you, and you have had your fill of ’su.no.mo’ black vinegar drink in a soda can (3Yen, 2004-Dec-05)…

Here’s a great new offering from Suntory:
Pepsi Ice Cucumber soda!
Ice Cucumber soda will be available in all the stores in Japan next week. However, here’s the 3Yen’s exclusive sneak peek!


The wacky engrish machine translation of the press release from Suntory/Pepsi reads:
“Pepsi Ice Cucumber(tm) is a cola of fresh taste balanced with an exquisite stimulus of the carbonic acid with a cucumber flavor… a cola which is dimly fragrant, emerald green with a rush of coolness.”

The soda will cost 140 yen for 500ml ($1.15USD / 17 fl oz) in a plastic PET bottle and sales will start on Tuesday, June 12. Also you can visit he official Pepsi (Suntory) Japanese website for ペプシアイスキューカンバー (Pepsi Ice Cucumber) .

As our reader, “Mr. Gack,” offered as solace at the thought of drinking such soda:
“I dare you to listen to the soundtrack that goes with drinking that soda. Ok, I double dare you to check out it out: it’s just short MP3, Gagged Gizzard Goo by Otto Von Schirach.”

Better yet…Try drinking some Japan’s finest: Pocari Sweat Powder.
Pocari Sweat is famous all over the world because it has an odd name that makes you think you’re drinking someone’s sweat. The most popular sports drink in Japan now available to via our sponsor J-List.

Artist pays up for phony ‘Doraemon’
asahi.com : 05/31/2007
Tajima T. Yasue, the man who created an unauthorized last installment of “Doraemon,” the popular manga that features a blue cat robot and its friend, Nobita, has admitted to his misdeed and paid a fee to the publisher and the original author’s production company.
In the final story, Nobita, the boy protagonist, grows up to become a top robot engineer 35 years later and revives “Doraemon,” who has become frozen in place because his batteries have run down…more...

This problem is rather ironic. The original team who wrote the real Doraemon, “Fujiko Fujio” started out publishing their own manga fan fiction magazines of popular comics by Osamu Tezuka. They even made a lot of money doing this fan fiction while they were still in high school. Japan’s most popular manga, Doraemon, owes most of its financial and spiritual start to fan fiction.

Of course, Tajima T. Yasue took his “Fake Coterie” a whole different level—copyright violation, as you can see by the professional-looking publications shown above and on the left. Looks like his doujinshi got a little too popular (rewarding). The interesting thing is that the Doraemon copyright holders only took “some” of Yasue’s earnings from the fake. Actually, Yasue’s story sounds very interesting: Check it out in this English translation.

And if you want to read the real Doraemon stories in English, check out one of the many Doraemon books available through our sponsor J-List.com such this live animal in Doraemon’s pants, hee, hee.

KYOTO: Queer coincidence turns shopping center’s mascot into ‘otaku’ superstar
asahi.com — 05/29/2007 … pronounced “Yaoi-chan,” is the mascot for the Misonobashi 801 shopping district, not far from Kyoto’s World Heritage Kamigamojinja shrine…”Yaoi”…is also a slang term for a cult genre of manga comics on homosexual themes….more…

Yaoi isn’t “just” a Japanese term for a cult genre of homosexual manga—It’s life-style for Japanese girls and women, the target of the “boy’s love” genre. The world of Yaoi that is extremely popular among the women here in Japan with stories revolving around boylove, filled with refined and well-dressed men professing their love to each other…and hundreds of publishers churning thousands of books.

As if Hard Gay UFO Pirates of the Caribbean was not enough fun….

Ever wonder what would happen if Rody, the stallion mated with Hello Kitty, the pirate?

Wonder no longer.

Here’s the newest Hello Kitty Pop Up Pirate toy.

They started with Rody, the inflatable riding horse for kids by the Gymnic company that has crossed the oceans to become a popular toy in Japan as well.
In this game, it’s just like the old Pop Up Pirate where you impale the barrel with swords until the pirate (in this case, a pirate Hello Kitty crossed with a Rody horsehead mask!) pops out of the barrel.
Price? $8.00 USD at J-List.com our sponsor.

In Japan, an essential of part of life is a bento (弁当) lunch. These bento can be very elaborate, aesthetically pleasing cuisine arrangements with the food arranged in such a way as to resemble other objects: dolls, flowers, leaves, and, well… weird things like these Cthulhu cocktail sausage octopi.

An essential skill of any Japanese household is to be able to prepare an appealing boxed lunch….But you might ask, “How difficult can it be to make a box of stone-cold rice and dead fish?”
Plenty difficult.
A bento is traditionally made in a 4:3:2:1 ratio: 4 parts of rice, 3 parts of the side dish (either meat or fish), 2 parts of vegetables, and 1 part of a serving of pickled vegetables or a dessert. However, almost anything can be used to make a bento….even a PENGUIN!

All you need is the right information, like this book from our sponsor J-List,
Our Bento — Watashitachi no Obento. It’s a photobook/ recipe book that gives you an entertaining look into Japan’s “bento culture” as well as insight into the kinds of meals that average Japanese people eat.
Who ever said playing with your food was bad, obviously didn’t tell these folks.

Our Bento — Watashitachi no Obento

The Japanese are famous for their perfectly cut mini-wieners you find in so many lunches (bento boxes).
What’s the secret behind these ubiquitous morsels you ask?

Why the Wiener Cutters of course!
Now you too can have the most perfectly cut wieners on the block, and not only that, they’ll be shaped like cute penguin!, complete with eyes and arms! Be the hit at school. Be the talk of the water cooler clique at work—-Check out our sponsor, J-List.com’s Penguin cutter for bento wieners.

Now for the real fun!

When I saw this cool Japanese cutter-guide on gadgets.3yen.com, the Norpro, I just knew I could somehow “repurpose” this onion-holder photo with one of the most famous brands of Japan, HOMO(tm) Sausage, made with 100% fish byproducts. Yummy.

I’ve written about HOMO Sausage, the Japanese fish sausage, before in my report: Strawberry Milk Sausages in all Supermarkets of Japan.

Pythagoras Switch aka Pitagora Suitchi (ピタゴラスイッ –Wikipedia ), airing on NHK since 2002, is a Japanese educational television program promotes new and creative “ways of thinking” for children. I’ve reported on Pythagoras Switch several times before in:

–NHK’s “Pitagora-Switch” on Japanese public TV
–Prison & Penguin ‘Pythagoras Switch’, also Ninjas!!

Actually, there’s a cool boom in these Japanese Rube Goldberg Machine—machines where one action puts many other actions into motion. You can order from our sponsor, J-List.com and see the new Pythagora Switch DVD; it’s just incredible.

Here’s a TV commercial for Japanese Mentos Pine Fresh flavor: a new kind of freshmaker.

The rest of the world is deprived of Japanese flavor varieties that you’ve only dreamed of in your deepest Freshmaker dreams. Mentos may have originated in The Netherlands, but Mentos Japan has fresher advertising featuring a funky frolicer who seems to have escaped from a Fruit of the Loom commercial. The spokesman, “Mr Mentos,” is somehow carnally related to Disco Stu from the Simpsons and in the commercial tells us how to get down with the freshness—Pine Freshness–which is of course is an electric boogaloo blue colored flavor.

Why “pine”?

“Pine” (パイン) as close as Japanese want to get to pronouncing the English word “Pineapple” and blue is the color of pineapple flavor, ri-i-i-ight.

You can buy PINE Mentos to amaze and confound your friends through our sponsor J-List here: Mentos — Pine Fresh (Pineapple) Japanese Snack Treat.

Hotdoll: The Sex Doll for Dogs - Gizmodo
Is your dog in heat and humping anything it can wrap its horny little legs around? … Protect your leg from a hump attack by getting Scruffy, a Hotdoll ….

The above doggie love doll has been making the rounds of the Internet. However, Scruffy the Hotdoll, got me to thinking about the Japanese manga comic, “Love Dog” by Kudo Hisashi. This manga wack-o mixture of humor and sex in this latest hentai production of his. In the comic “Love Dog,” a little sister with the tendency to drag in strange pets finds a man eating catgirl… Well you get the idea.
Check it out on the 3yen sponsor J-List’s catalog.

Update: Now it’s BURNING BIDETS!

Japan flaming toilet troubles heat up further
Reuters.uk, UK - Apr 18, 2007—INAX, owned by JS Group, said it had not made public seven cases of malfunctioning “washlets” — a combination toilet and bidet common in Japanese homes …more...

Company: Toilets Might Catch Fire
Associated Press, April 16, 2007, 8:29 AM EDT, TOKYO — Japan’s leading toilet maker Toto Ltd. is offering free repairs for 180,000 bidet toilets after wiring problems caused several to catch fire, the company said Monday.
The electric bidet accessory of Toto’s … popular Z series features a pulsating massage spray, a power dryer, built-in-the-bowl deodorizing filter, the “Tornado Wash” flush and a lid that opens and closes automatically…more.…

FLAMING SH1TERS!
Once sad facts of life here is that Japanese “white goods”—large electrical home appliances such as refrigerators, washing machines and the like—are always shoddy quality. I’ve owned three different bands of these Japanese squirting toilets, and all of them malfunctioned after a just a few years.
You would think that these Toto toilets costing $1,680 to $2,600 USD would never fail. However, Japanese manufacturers enjoy abusing their home market with poor quality products—Don’t let me start ranting about worst-in-the-world-quality of Japanese vacuum cleaners.
You might ask, “Why are high-tech toilets fitted with pressurized water sprayers a standard fixture in Japanese homes?”
Simple.
Japanese haven’t invented home central heating yet, so Japanese toilets need built-in heating for their seats. With a heated seat standard in Japan, additional functions were added over time. First heating, then squirting functions…….all the way to MP3 players

CLICK TO WATCH

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Now you might ask what has happened to the traditional “squat” toilets in Japan?
Oh, they still exist. You still can see squat toilets at train stations and other public venues since they are much easier to clean and they could be thought of as more hygienic since the users don’t have to touch anything.
However, with Japan’s “Aging Society” (most everyone in my upscale Tokyo neighborhood is over 60 years old), squat toilets cause a lot of knee pain and troubles. Therefore, 97% of Japanese homes built in the past 15 years have normal Western-style toilets installed.

In fact, Japanese toilets have become sort of joke among younger Japanese such as this novelty ashtray called the “Ashlet.” Young people get their laughs from this ceramic replica that looks exactly like the old-fashioned squat toilets and squirts out the water to extinguish the burning cigarette ashes when “flushed.” You can get your Ashlet squat toilet replica from the 3Yen’s sponsor, J-List: Order now while they last.

I was kind of shocked today when looking for kinky images at the 3Yen’s sponsor, J-List.com, I stumbled across this
Samurai Sword Ear Cleaner.

Ear picking with sword sounds scary to me but as I’ve said before, Japanese are very found of their long tradition of ear picking with mimikaki (耳かき). Heiwa Medic Company of Japan has tapped into that love of ear mining by turning their Q-Tips black. These Life(tm) black cotton swabs have scored great emotional favor with Japanese consumers by providing better functionality…and voila, a runaway hit product.

Life(tm) black cotton swabs
The first in the industry, our black ear swabs lets you clearly see the fruits of your labor. Using 100% the black cotton tips have two different shapes for better cleaning.

According to Heiwa Medic’s press release: What attracted longtime average white cotton swab buyers to switch to this unusual product was the enhanced feeling of cleanliness that came from simply being able to see clearly the amount of extracted ear wax on the black cotton tips as opposed to on the white counterparts. Also, variations such as spiral tips make it even easier to clean out ear wax.” A minor catch is that you might be shy if anyone else sees what you’ve collected.

I sort of laughed when I read our kind sponsor, J-List.com describe these Darth Vader Q-Tips as: “Black Spiral Cotton Swabs that are dynamite for cleaning your ears.” Somehow the words, “dynamite” and “ear cleaning” don’t belong together.
But hey, if the black and spiral shape works better, you ought to order ‘em now!