Love me Tenga

Pubgoblin, my Tokyo buddy in real-life, found this Japanese fan club for wankering devices:

 
This guy can't wait to use his Tenga.Love-me-TENGA.— Chris Carlier (@Pubgoblin) January 30, 2017

 

 

 
Our previous Tenga reports include:

 




♫~Still crazy after all these years . . . Aum Shinrikyo

Back the ’80s I used to see the “star” of this video game, the doomsday cult leader, Shoko Asahara, at my train station.

AUM-game

Game Based Upon a Real Life Act of Domestic Terrorism, Possibly Produced by the Cult Responsible, Is As Unsettling As It Sounds
Attract Mode / January 25, 2017
Kamikuishiki-mura Monogatari…is a doujin soft [game] published for the PC-88, which according to Tokugawa Corp is “Based on the Aum Shinrikyo cult responsible for the 1995 sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway”
Kamikuishiki-mura Monogatari operates as a resource management sim, with the goal being the successful deployment of the chemical agent to targeted trains
More…

Previous reports of Aum include:

 



 


Tamagotchi CRAP Station

egg-tamagotchiDo you remember that dead Tamagotchi that fell behind your desk drawer in the late ’90s?
Well, ßan Dai Corp. wants you to resurrect it by solving the puzzle “Tamagotchi n!× CRAP Station“, which is a time capsule for the 20th anniversary of the device: tamagøtchi20th.cøm

tamagotchi-crap

 
Our previous ßan Dai related reports include:

 




B-ball — J-Stargate

Check out the b-ball/basketball Stargate in Kyoto Japan!

basketball-stargate_closeup

 
A few of our many reports of Japan’s Stargate Program:

 



 


Sony Music Global says Britney’s dead

SONY MUSIC REPORTS BRITNEY SPEARS IS DEAD!
japantimes.co.jp/news/2016/12/27/business/sony-music…
sony-musicw

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A few of our previous reports of It’s-a-Sony include:

 



 

Ninja prayer pose pants?

kancho suprise buttsecs Kancho is the insidious Japanese school prank performed by poking both index fingers into someone’s butt when the victim is not looking that’s like a “Ninja Prayer Pose” below.no-kancho sign for japanese schools

Men’s Prayer Ninja Kancho Pose boxer shorts
…are a fun gift of men’s rugby uniform-style underwear from Rakuten.

 
Why rugby kancho underwear? Read the full rest-of-the-story in the Comments section.

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Previous kancho fun on the 3Yen:

 






How the Brew a Coffee…the Japanese Way

nestle-japan-1
How the Brew a Christmas Coffee Using a Wooden ROBO-BARISTA the Japanese Way

  1. Download special Nescafé app and fire it up.
  2. On the BARISTA app, select the emoticon that best fits your current mood.
  3. Observe that your emoticon then transforms into a cute bird character (which suspiciously looks like stealth Twitter marketing) and appears on the screen at Nescafé Barista i-coffee moment ensemble machine.
  4. Also watch that at the same time, a wooden ball is released from the top of the wooden i-coffee moment ensemble machine instrument to play a Christmas melodies* as it rolls down striking the tuned xylophone-like steps.
  5. Finally, your coffee poops out of the bottom of the robo-barista
  6. Remove your cup and drink coffee

You can enjoy this Rube Goldberg coffee machine in Tokyo’s Harajuku from Friday, Dec. 2 to Sunday Dec. 25. Derived from popular Japanese pitagorasu/ピタゴラス/Pythagorean devices, this contraption looks like a massive coffee mug measuring about three and half meters tall and three meters wide. A wooden ball is released from the top into a staircase-shaped maze that plays Christmas songs* as it rolls downwards striking the tuned xylophone steps on its way in a whimsical and entertaining display. The contraption consists of 180 xylophone-like keys and 1450 individual parts. Its construction required approximately five months and utilized laser machining as well as a number of other frou-frou technologies.

*The Christmas songs performed are:

  • We wish you a Merry Christmas
  • Joy to the World
  • Winter Wonderland

Our previous Christmassy reports of Japanese fun include:

 






Perfect shit job for a Japanophile

Yikes! Here’s a perfect shit job for a gaijin polyglot with knee-deep knowledge of Japanese kulture…

EMOJI TRANSLATOR WANTED – LONDON FIRM SEEKS SPECIALIST
BBC News | 2016-Dec-12
A company in London has advertised for an emoji translatorexplaining cross-cultural misunderstandings in the use of the mini picturesAgency boss Jurga Zilinskiene said emojis were a "potential growth area" as "inconsistencies" had developed in their use.
Last year, a UK linguist said emoji was the country’s fastest-growing language.
More…

santa-poo-emoji

 
A few of our other shitty reports of Japanophilia include:

 



 


♬~Beginning to look like ‘Kurisumasu’

Meri Kurisumasu (メリークリスマス) aka XXX Merry Christmas from the love-Hotel Chapel Christmas

View post on imgur.com

According to DingisMcGee’s youtube, ‵‵Hotel Chapel Christmas near Narita International Airport is where Santa takes his ‘Hoe Hoe Hoe’ in Japan.″

Hotel Chapel Christmas says it’s, ‵‵Designed for adults only…guests can unwind and relax in the spacious [Christmassy] environment

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Our previous Christmassy reports of Japan include:

 






MUFO MUFO☆DOGS!!~

Akita Prefecture was so desperate to show the charms″ of their northern backwater of Japan they bought out their MOFU MOFU☆DOGS.

Actual lyrics…
♫~ I’ll be waiting for you at MOFU MOFU
full throttle…

mofu-mofu_404x

urbandictionary: mofu: How "mofo" should be said as it
is supposed to be short-form for mother fuckerr..

Our previous reports of Japanese promotions gone MOFO-mad include: