ENDLESS CHALLENGE®

Rakuten, Japan’s biggest electronic commerce and Internet company1 has an ENDLESS [engrish] CHALLENGE™ with their Englishnization2 policy making all its employees conduct business in English.

Englishnization.

Rakuten Press Release
Google Translate of k-tai.watch.impress.co.jp | August 25, 2016
:
YOSHKI of X JAPAN3 will provide a new song, “Endless Challenge,” in a TV commercial for Rakuten’s new “Rakuten Mobile,” a MVNO (mobile virtual network operator) service starting from August 26...more...

 

1Refer to: wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakuten
2Refer to The Japan Times (2015-05-23): Rakuten forges ahead in English
3Refer to: wikipedia.org/wiki/X_Japan

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Our previous engrish and Rakuten reports include:

 



 

WE WANT YOU (to fight Godzilla)

This supposedly is a recruitment poster for the Japan’s Self-Defense Forces who are, Looking for people who can defeat Godzilla.

 
godzilla sdf poster

I figured the above poster was just a Photoshop—But nope, it’s real. So, I helped Goji-chan make something more over-the-top.
goji-wants-you-500x

A few of our many previous reports of Godzilla include:

 

 



Taxi terrors

Taxi manners
taxi-devilvivian-morelli @lostinseoul Aug. 9, 2016

 


A few of our many previous reports about posters for transport manners in Japan (the above poster is from a Osaka cab) include:

 



 

Again with the ‘GOT OTER UKI’

Usually, Japanese election campaign posters such as those for upcoming Tokyo gubernatorial contest are very boring Like these.

japan election posters

Occasionally, you can see a weirdo like this
Vote for   GOT   OTER   UKI   poster.
vote-got-oter

Actually, GOT  OTER  UKI  is just a strange romanization of Goto Teruki’s name on his “creative” 2013 campaign poster. (3yen.com | 2015-04-21)

His poster for this year’s Tokyo gubernatorial race is much more serious.

final-Goto_

Goto Teruki’s 2015 campaign poster was even more right-wing crazy and nude…

nude candidate (3yen.com | 2015-04-21)

The really crazy thing is that I support many of the ideas of his campaign platform (Google Translate)

  • Abort the 2020 Tokyo Olympics or make it ultra-low cost endeavor.
  • Cancel the Tsukiji Fish Market relocation, and review.
  • Stop the duplication and waste of Tokyo having two municipal subway systems, the Toei Subway and the Tokyo Metro, which double charge when crossing the two systems.
  • Introduce a vehicle exhaust tax to spread the use of eco-cars.
  • Rebuild Edo Castle the restore the castle tower.
  • Legalize cannabis and revive the hemp industry.
  • Etc.

I really really really really like you extra moist Diane

daine_is_extra_moist
 
♬~ I Really Really Really Really Like You extra Moist Diane.

moist diane story

Non-silicon playtime is squeaky—oil is sticky. It’s common sense to approach nether-hair care of the next generation. A smooth soap-job provides comfort without being too squeaky. Then, a good lube job can gently dirt the hair, oil treatment to penetrate deeply. Uniquely formulated lube without stickiness provides a slippery sleek finish-cum-happy ending.″

translated japanese by bing

extra moist diane title

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For more fun with Japanese-engrish, check out:

 



 

BEWARE OF ELEPHANTS!

 
BEWARE OF BLOWHARD ELEPHANTS!Beware-angry-elephants-360x Full-size original at mrstsk
 

 
Previous pachyderm posts include:

 

 


 

Welcome to Kenmin Kingdom of Noodly Nippon

 Kenmin-kingdomAnthony

Anthony d'Avis (@ozAntinnippon) June 25, 2016

 

(Goofy Google Translate of Wiki): Kenmin Foods Co., Ltd. of Kobe is a rice noodle manufacturer that is best known for its “Welcome to the Kenmin Kingdom” ad campaign. Kenmin’s ads are known for their eerie content and surreal product image.

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Previous posts of Japan’s fun ads for very bent noodles include:

 



 

BEWARE OF MAD POLES!

 mad-pole

 

Everything in Japan needs a special mascot, even angry poles.

 
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Previous dubious yuru-chara/loose-character_yuruchara/"loose character" mascots featured here include:

 
 


Drip. Drop. Derp.

The Tokyo Metro Manners poster is all wet this month.
With much derp, the Tokyo Metro seems to want us to “drop” our umbrellas during Japan’s rain season (rather than taking care that our umbrellas don’t drip on others).

drop-drip-metro-subwayplease-engrish

 

shinjuku_Tokyo_Metro_information_deskThe strange part of this Metro poster’s engrish mistake is that the Tokyo Metro has a complete staff of interpreters who work at the subway’s information desks. However, somehow all the people in the PR department who make the posters forgot to have someone check the poster’s English, sheesh.

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Previous drippy reports of the rainy season in Japan include:

 

 



 

Japan’s New Democratic kancho Party

In yet another political reorganization, Japan’s “New Democratic Party”—formerly known as the Democratic Party Japan (DPJ)—has a new logo celebrating the grand Japanese tradition of kancho.New~Kancho-Democratic-PartykanchoThat is, Kancho (カンチョー) is a Japanese prank performed by clasping the hands together in the shape of an imaginary gun and attempting to poke an unsuspecting person in the butt*.

Japan’s Democratic Party reveals new logo to cries of plagiarism and indecency
The Japan Times | 2016-May-19
The new logo features the letter M, the initial of the party’s Japanese name, Minshinto, in a way that resembles two people — one in blue and the other in red — standing arm in arm…After the logo chosen Thursday advanced to a shortlist of four candidates earlier this month, many people online noted a striking resemblance to that of Mie Prefecture-based confectionery company Imuraya Co…new_democratic-party
…The online controversy, however, didn’t end there. Some joked that the logo looks as though a man in blue is groping the posterior of a woman in red.
More…


 
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Our previous Kancho (カンチョー) reports include: