One of the most popular topics if the past four years on the 3Yen is the fraudulent HanaHana™–Get your big nose beauty!
The industrial-strength clothespin is clipped onto a Japanese nose to make it “tall” (make the bridge of the nose more prominent and humped). However, IT DOES NOT WORK and this product constitutes medical fraud in most countries.

However, today I found an even more insane version of the fraudulent nose clip: NOSE ELECTROCUTION…

Enlarge to the full-size photo, 800×600.
Photo thanks to gnosis / john r’s flickr photostream, “[Japanese]Models in Bondage (Set).”

The always informative Pinktentacle.com has beaten me to straight poop again. This time they got the scoop on the PANDA POOP PRIZE.

Ig Nobel Prize: Panda poo power
02 Oct 2009 Pinktentacle.com
Researchers from Kitasato University in Tokyo have been awarded this year’s Ig Nobel Biology Prize for demonstrating that kitchen waste can be reduced by more than 90% by using bacteria extracted from Giant Panda excrement...more…

Please note this Panda Poop was not the first poo-related Ig Nobel Prize for Japan. In 2007, the 3Yen reported about The sweet taste of cow pies yield an [ig]Nobel Prize for Japan!. See my 3Yen reports from 2006 and 2005 as well as the official list of “ig-Nobel past winners.”

Also note that above photo is a panda statue crafted by hand from giant panda droppings and sold by the Chengdu Breeding Centre for Endangered Species ( www.metro.co.uk) in Sichuan province, China.

Actually, the warning is already downgraded to just an advisory here in Japan.

Deadly tsunami in Pacific islands
BBC News – ‎25 minutes ago‎
A tsunami triggered by a strong quake in the South Pacific has killed at least 28 people in Samoa…

From the always informative PinkTentacle.com, is word of a Japanese eyeball bot for gamer furries.

While this Transformer Bed has a noble cause, both the bed and transformed electric wheelchair would not fit in 99% of Japanese dwellings. Even if the device could fit, the wheelchair could not maneuver over the numerous doorway thresholds and changes in floor height of crappy Japanese construction.

Panasonic Develops Bed-Shaped Robot Transformable into Wheelchair;
Supports People with Limited Mobility to Lead Independent Life
Osaka, Sept 18, 2009 – (JCN Newswire) – Panasonic Corporation, a leader of electronics technology and innovation, today announced the development of a bed-shaped robot which can be transformable between a bed and a wheelchair with the user staying in bed or wheelchair. The Robotic Bed is designed to help people with limited mobility maintain an independent lifestyle, reducing the need for assistance...more…

Calling GODZILLA! Tasukete(HELP)!

Bear attacks tourists at bus station
Agence France-Presse –September 20, 2009—-A BEAR was shot dead overnight after it attacked nine people, including tourists, at a bus station in a mountainous area of central Japan…Four men were seriously injured in the attack in Takayama, Gifu prefecture…more…

Here’s a video of the bear in question lunching on one of the tourists while some of the people yell at it: “BAD BEAR!”

Tasukete!

I am sure that the rest-of-the-story was that the bear failed to buy any Omiyage/souvenirs in the Japanese gift shop were the bear was “trapped.”
Only then did the gift shop have poor bear killed, skinned to put on display, while they put up its gall bladder for sale on Yahoo Japan Auctions as a Japanese “enhancement” kampo/medicine.

Read more about the horrors of omiyage in The Japan Times story:
Omiyage ritual has been difficult

Since Japanese are having such a difficult time getting laid in Japan, the government is thinking of alternative ways to increase their population….

Sex in space could be the key to the survival of humans
Sept. 16, 2009 | The Japan Times Online
….research projects are already underway to work out just how to reproduce in the special, unnatural conditions of outer space — and some of the projects are based in Japan.
Sayaka Wakayama at RIKEN's Laboratory for Genomic Reprogramming in Kobe is involved in one such project…
….”These results suggest for the first time that fertilization can occur normally under a microgravity environment in a mammal,” Wakayama's team write, in the journal PLoS ONE, “but normal preimplantation embryo development might require 1G [full Earth-like gravity]” …more…

Over on the PinkTentacle.com, they have an amusing story on how Japanese high school girls have come up with a way the defeat the invasion of giant jellyfish that has been plaguing Japan for the past few years by making them into jellyfish candies.

YUM, jellyfish candies!

Here’s a list of 3Yen reports over the years of this “news” of giant killer jellyfish:
—PANIC! Killer jellyfish invading Japan! 2008-02-09
—INVASION OF THE NUCLEAR JELLYFISH! 2006-07-20
—The Attack of the Killer Jellyfish! 2007-02-20
—Attack of the giant jellyfish! 2005-12-08

UPDATE! The big blow continues!

The 2ch crazies had a “matsuri”(festival) of posting freeze frames from Japanese TV news covering the “official” Japanese typhoon season.
Embiggen to the full-size, semi-NSFW, composite photo—667×794.

I went to the beach just north of Enoshima today and noticed this weird sign…
“Beware of Hawks”? WTF?

Embiggen to 640×480

I scratched my head for a second about the “Hawks” and realized that the warning sign was referring the crow-like scavengers, the kazillions of Kites.

Enoshima is infested with tobi nest in large groups that defecate huge piles of stinky fishy poop. I don’t think that it is weird at all that Kites are called “an abomination” in the Bible, Leviticus, 11.14.

Other Japanese beaches have the more solitary Osprey (Pandion haliaetus), also colloquially known in English as a seahawk or fish hawk.
However, no bird in this country can boss around Japan’s national bird, the pushy, mutant Crow. (3yen link)

Weirdo Japanese language factoid: The Japanese Kanji for tobi/kite is 鳶 but most people just write the word in Katakana トビ . Oddly Japanese more commonly pronounce it tonbi トンビ .