OOPS redux

Update from F.A.C. Japan:
Here in Japan it’s F.A.C. —Friday Afternoon Club and those damn Gnomes are at it again! I had to unleash my la-force-de fap/frappe on those lit’l buggers! It took all day of yelling to get those flunky fatties to rebuild the database and reboot the server, but we are back online folks!


Damn. Those goofy garden gnomes of ours have been playing skittles our servers again and the 3Yen has been down for 48+ hours. Don’t worry. Our Web gnomes are being punished properly as I am using them for pins for lawn bowling…

Godzilla’s Public Service Announcement

According to the tumblr of godzillahaiku…

godzilla psa oil
Embiggen to 500 X 215 px.

Personally, I think Goji-chan needs to rise up from the Gulf and eat all the BP monsters who were paid by Cheney to sabotage the well to discredit Obama and to foul the oceans so that no one will care if they add three zillion more oil platforms all owned by Sarah Palin and Roger Ailes in anticipation of Rupert Murdoch’s purchase of General Motors to build the new Lady Gaga edition of Winnabago RVs in a plant near Nogales, Arizona to attract more illegals who can be arrested and sent to Japan to care for the elderly.
(Notice in this movie poster the Illuminati All-Seeing Eye of Godzilla—a single reptilian eye and the Sun-like pupil with flames issuing from it.)

Eat Pussy!

sushi maker machine
A few days ago I posted about the rather creepy looking Anpanman sushi machine (news.3yen.com/2010-05-24).

It turns out the the same place also sells a way to “Eat Pussy” as mentioned in the title—that is, a machine for homemade sushi aptly named the…
Hello Kitty Waku Waku(happy-happy) Die-cut Rolled SUSHI
Making Set…

hello kitty press for sushi eat pussy

Have a Waku Waku/happy-happy Hello Kitty Apocalypse!

Wash their mouths out with soap–Japan vs North Korean

KYODO News, May 24, 2010; TOKYO–The Japanese government expressed its readiness Monday to take grave and punitive action against North Korea in cooperation with South Korea and the United States over the deadly sinking of a South Korean warship in Marchmore blah, blah, blah

Here in Japan downrange from North Korean’s missile launches*, the angry rhetoric has been ratcheting up. Japan’s stern but totally toothless warnings to North Korean are nothing compared to the trash talk of Lil’ Kim and his Krazies.
Now you can enjoy the NK-News’ Random Insult Generator

NK-News Random Insult Generator
Click to enjoy another insult.

Japanese  vs North Koreas.north korea is best
DISCLAIMER: Mr. Fun, Kim Jong Il, is the only person in my life who has shot missiles directly at me. Back on August 31, 1998 while I was laying on the beach in northern Japan, one those Kim’s-got-no-dong Taepodong missiles missed as it flew over me.

 Kim Jong-Il  shot a missile out his butt
CLICK on the above photo to watch the amazing robpongi.com video.

Vocaloids top the Japanese album charts

In a Sign of the coming Apocalypse, the always-informative Sankaku Complex blog reports that Japan’s:
“…Oricon charts ending for the 18th of May listed the Vocaloid album “Exit Tunes Presents Vocalogenesis featuring Hatsune Miku” as the top selling album”

via 2010/05/20 | Sankaku Complex

The key point here is the Vocaloid is a Yamaha-created synthesizer and Hatsune Miku is its signature squeeky Japanese robot voice and robot character—not a human. (I looove living in my own future.)


Mr. Constipated flees home after Japan’s Nikkei stock average crashes

Bempi-san pedals his bicycle in Tokyo today unhappily because Japan’s Nikkei stock average pulmented 396.48 points, about 3.7 percent
constipation is a career stopper
Sources of the remixed advertisement above: Flickr and Day Life.com.

More bempi/constipated photos below the fold.

Japanese ‘talento’

rinka nude book dvd Our 3Yen correspondent, “Denfour” has finally flipped out upon seeing this press event by model and “talent” Rinka for her “RINKA SLEEP STAR” book/DVD set (Takarajimasha, 1,995 yen; shown right).
With the wisdom that comes with age, I advised Denfour-san to mellow out and smoke a few more hits of that good shit from the Hello Kitty litterbox. Foaming at the mouth, he replied…

---< Denfour's rant on>---
Not since the Kano Sisters have I seen a Haafu (Half-breed) gaijin-faced tarento talento tarento in japanese defined on wikipedia/celebrity wannabe continuously make stupid remarks
and have the Japanese media fanboys and girls go gaga over the mentally challenged RETARD on J-TV….and now she threatens
the world with a photo book and dvd set? Is there no limit to this madness? beast_ani150
No wonder Daddy Cthulhu(L) rises from the depths as the
Stars are aligned right in the sky for the mass brain damaging effects of these tarentos…..
The commentaries on the link below are also scary…..they consider Rinka Cute? If she’s cute, then Oh Hell Kitty is sexy…..
sad to see the influx of more brain damaged souls arising in Japan…..and the sun will sink as a result….
---< Denfour's rant off>---

Rinka with and without makeup
Embiggen to 666 px.


Hello ‘Wino’ Kitty on the Colbert Report

hellokitty-saying on wine bottle

As I have reported about before on the 3Yen in Hello Kitty’s Beaujolais, the kitty is a wino (even though she doesn’t have a mouth). The Colbert Report, now is saying the Hello Kitty is branching out and selling a table red wine and white sparkling wine. Enjoy…

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Tip/Wag – Hello Kitty Wine & Pig’s Blood Filters
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

Colbert-Report-&-Hello-Kitty wine

Get your Pedobear on!

original kuma of 2chan 2ch
In yet another Sign of the coming Apocalypse, the sweet “Kuma” (Bear) character of Japan’s 2chan has joined the Dark Side to become the scourge-of-the-world, Pedobear (wiki).

And now the minions of Pedobear have a uniform: the Pedobear Hoodie, which is made and sold by Calgary Cosplay.

76% of Japanese nuclear power plants’ emergency warning systems don’t work

Although 76% of Japanese nuclear power plants’ emergency warning systems don’t work, not to worry. The remaining nuke plants emergency warning systems must be functioning fine since the plants are already shut down for radiation leaks.

Flawed communication systems found at 76% of nuclear power plants
TOKYO, Jan. 5, Kyodo – Thirteen of the 17 commercial nuclear power plants in Japan have defects in their communication systems that could delay the first safety measures following earthquakes or in other emergencies….

Japanese Nuke Plant Flag