“Bagelheads“! Yikes, we manufactured a Japanese fad!

“Bagelheads” is just a name that was made up to joke about this body modification, but the mainstream press took the name as real, as you can see from the reports below.

Bagelheads the latest fad for Japanese teens: Mom hopes it stays in Japan
New Jersey On-Line — by Fiona Charles — Thursday July 02, 2009, 8:50 PM
Japanese teens are shooting silicone in their head to morph their faces. They call themselves bagelheads.
Have you seen the latest fad for teens in Japan? They are called bagelheads. Teens in Japan are injecting themselves with saline, which causes bumps in their heads.
The lumps and bumps created by the saline can be shaped and molded. The teens are calling themselves bagelheads. The disfigurement only last 24 hours. I have a hard time looking at these teens, and I just hope it stays in Japan and doesn’t make it’s way over to the States.

New ‘Bagel Head’ Fad Is Crazy!
RantRave - July 2
OK, Japan, we get it. You’re the king of weird.
A new “beauty” fad in Tokyo clubs has teens injecting themselves with bags of saline, disfiguring their heads! They call themselves “Bagel Heads” or “bagelheads.” ….more...

A quick Google search for the joke name “bagelheads” or “bagelhead” written in Japanese katakana results in zero hits:

“Bagelheads” is a great joke name for this 4-person “Japanese” trend, but both the Western mainstream press and the blogsphere is picking it up and reporting this fake tread as real, sheesh.

In addition, both of the reports express the facetious hope that this “Japanese” trend remains in Japan, even though it originated in the West, ha, ha.

Living in Japan sometimes is like living in a campy science fiction program–In this case “Thrall Collars” for Japanese factory slaves….

Wearable Sensors Help Analyze Behaviors of Factory Workers
July 3, 2009 - Nikkei Tech-On! – DSS Co Ltd, a Japanese firm that edits and processes digital maps based on survey data, started a service of recording the actions of factory workers for long hours and visualize them.
The tools used for collecting the data are (1) the “ankle sensor” to be attached to the leg of a worker for recording his or her movement, (2) the “milestone,” which will be installed in various places in the plant to know how long workers stay there and (3) the “small video camera” to be put in the chest pocket of the worker to record his or her action. …more…

PRIOR ART…

Not unlike the new film “UP” …Here’s the traditional Japanese answer.

What you are looking at is an odd twist to “Tanabata“ the Japanese star festival (ripped off from the Chinese star festival, Qi X) when Japanese write their wishes, sometimes in the form of poetry, on “tanzaku”, small pieces of paper, and hang them on large displays of bamboo fronds. The bamboo and decorations are often set afloat on a river or burned after the festival, but in this case they get UP.

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View the original/unaltered version of July’s Metro Manners poster here.

The poster above for July is one of a monthly series of the Tokyo Metro aimed at cajoling the so-called ‘rude’ Japanese public to have better train manners.
In previous months, posters reminded riders of their manners:
– Please PISTON outside
–Don’t read newspapers
–‘Please refrain from snotty…’
– The official start of the Japanese Vomiting Season
–No romance on the train, please
–Train posters–sometimes I can’t explain ‘em.
And many, many, more….

The crazies over on 2-Ch posted this gem…
Fuji TV’s Beauty Coliseum summer ‘09! (machine translation)
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NOTE: Page way down to the middle to see all the Before-vs-After photos.

Todaiji temple in Nara Japan busts Buddha’s big bulging balls.

Japan firm recalls Buddha figure ‘with bulge’
AFP News, June 25, 2009 …
A Japanese company has reportedly agreed with an ancient temple that it would withdraw a controversial plastic figurine — a seated, grinning Buddha with a bulge between its legs… made and sold the golden-robed “Marimokkori” character around Todaiji with a tag that carried a drawing of the temple’s World Heritage-listed Great Buddha Hall.…more…

The banned balls bite the dust as the “Marimokkori” character after a request from the World Heritage temple. As you might remember, the 3Yen has previously covered the popular Marimo balls in our report, Captain Hard-on of Hokkaido.

It’s hard to understand why in the first place they gave a big bulbous bulge to the Buddha statue. The Marimokkori character originated in far north of Japan on Hokkaido island and the Todaiji temple is in the middle of Japan on the main island.
The distance and relationship is like the National Cathedral in Washington DC selling nude versions of New York’s Statue of Liberty in its souvenir gift shop.

A while back on the 3Yen I cover the Japanese fetish with ear picking with Samurai swords and black Q-Tips. Well now the Japanese have taken ear cleaning to a whole different level with their so-called “one shot cleaning” businesses.

Saitama scours ear-cleaning salons peddling adult services
Saitama scours ear-cleaning salons peddling adult services | The Tokyo Reporter - June 12, 2009… police busted two such operations in Saitama City on June 10 and arrested three managers for providing adult services delivered similar to that found in a massage parlor. It is believed that these arrests are the first in what will be a larger nationwide crackdown ...more...

Remember, in Japan, cleaning your man’s ears is a time-honored tradition, a romantic act signifying intimacy.

I just had a noisy lunch with my four roommates here at CLUB DEAD(tm), the Toho University hospital. The noodle broth was flying and the slurping sound was deafening since Japanese never chew their noodles (or any food for the most part).
Check out Japanese noodle hoovering in this Tom Green video…

Fan of the 3Yen and my mixi friend, “Professor” Shoko Nakagawa ‘Shokotan’ is Japan’s expert “Otakuologist” specialist featured on Japanese TV. As a self-proclaimed “super blogger, voice actress, and illustrator” Shoko Nakagawa, “the gal famous for smelling her cats’ asses” or at least eating them.

Idol 'Shokotan' promotes summer date event at Tokyo Dome

TOKYO, May 20 KYODO

Pop idol Shoko Nakagawa, more widely called ''Shokotan,'' promoted a summer event at Tokyo Dome City on Wednesday aimed at helping youngsters meet boyfriends and girlfriends.

''I feel 'giza' happy,'' Nakagawa told reporters, using one of her enigmatic signature phrases that means ''very'' and referring to her role in the July 18-Sept. 13 event as ''a special cupid'' to help potential young couples arrange dates…

Today and tomorrow are Japan’s worst people/traffic jam, called here the “U-Turn.” Specifically, it the “U-turn rush” of the Golden Week holidays.
Naturally, hospitals in Japan are turning away flu patients claiming to having the Pork Plague. Sheesh.

Paranoid hospitals turning away those with fever, or with a foreign friend
2009 May 5 - The Mainichi Daily News— As hospitals step up their precautions against swine flu, those in the Tokyo area are starting to refuse examinations to those suffering from fever and other potential influenza symptoms, or even those with a foreign friend, it's been learned. Between Saturday morning and Monday morning, 63 people were turned away, according to the metropolitan government….One patient was denied an examination for mentioning that they had a foreign friend…more…

“Sheesh” is what I say because I have been turned away this afternoon with a broken leg from the emergency rooms of two Tokyo hospitals because they are full of whining vacationers returning their holidays with potential cases of flu.
I just slapped a quick-setting temporary plastic brace on my leg and iced it—Tomorrow I will try a regular doctor in my neighborhood who should be back from his Golden Week holiday.