Ho!

 

 
oh-what-funHo!Ho!Ho!

 

 

How to wrap Japanese Xmas presents

hinky-wrap-japan Thanks to Kotaku.com, here’s the newest way to wrap Japanese XXXmas presents—Otona Maki/おとなまき, lit. “adult wrapping”.
Ok, ok, the claim is that this a Japanese therapeutic method emulates the comfortable feel of a mother’s womb, but it obviously that its just another example of Japa-hinkiness.
 
Learn lurid details at Kotaku’s:

‵‵In Japan, There’s A Freaky-Looking Way To Relax otona-maki

 
xxxmas-wrapping_250xPRIOR ART aplenty for Otona Maki wrapping such as our posts covering:

 



 


Ninja prayer pose pants?

kancho suprise buttsecs Kancho is the insidious Japanese school prank performed by poking both index fingers into someone’s butt when the victim is not looking that’s like a “Ninja Prayer Pose” below.no-kancho sign for japanese schools

Men’s Prayer Ninja Kancho Pose boxer shorts
…are a fun gift of men’s rugby uniform-style underwear from Rakuten.

 
Why rugby kancho underwear? Read the full rest-of-the-story in the Comments section.

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Previous kancho fun on the 3Yen:

 






How the Brew a Coffee…the Japanese Way

nestle-japan-1
How the Brew a Christmas Coffee Using a Wooden ROBO-BARISTA the Japanese Way

  1. Download special Nescafé app and fire it up.
  2. On the BARISTA app, select the emoticon that best fits your current mood.
  3. Observe that your emoticon then transforms into a cute bird character (which suspiciously looks like stealth Twitter marketing) and appears on the screen at Nescafé Barista i-coffee moment ensemble machine.
  4. Also watch that at the same time, a wooden ball is released from the top of the wooden i-coffee moment ensemble machine instrument to play a Christmas melodies* as it rolls down striking the tuned xylophone-like steps.
  5. Finally, your coffee poops out of the bottom of the robo-barista
  6. Remove your cup and drink coffee

You can enjoy this Rube Goldberg coffee machine in Tokyo’s Harajuku from Friday, Dec. 2 to Sunday Dec. 25. Derived from popular Japanese pitagorasu/ピタゴラス/Pythagorean devices, this contraption looks like a massive coffee mug measuring about three and half meters tall and three meters wide. A wooden ball is released from the top into a staircase-shaped maze that plays Christmas songs* as it rolls downwards striking the tuned xylophone steps on its way in a whimsical and entertaining display. The contraption consists of 180 xylophone-like keys and 1450 individual parts. Its construction required approximately five months and utilized laser machining as well as a number of other frou-frou technologies.

*The Christmas songs performed are:

  • We wish you a Merry Christmas
  • Joy to the World
  • Winter Wonderland

Our previous Christmassy reports of Japanese fun include:

 






Xmas ads from Japan, of course

Christmas greetings from Nagoya Sweets Salami Co.

 

giphy

Cheesus Good Cheese (Fake Japanese Ad Characters Set)
You can find this and a bunch of other great faux-Japanese ads on reymisterio‘s flickr.

–Tip of the hat to the 3Yen’s
correspondent-at-large, Den4,
for this artsy-fartsy post.

 



 


Finger nuptials from KFC Japan

New FINGER NUPtialS for a perfect Kentucky Christmas—according to KFC Japan

 

goofy Google Translate of @KFC_jp

\ Don’t worry about oily hands anymore! /
★ “Finger nap” appeared! ★
If you are in the vicinity of a store, please try by all means ♪

kfc-finger-nup-promo_370x640

 

Since Christmas is Japan’s biggest hot-date night (3Yen / 2005-12-14), some people have remarked that: ‵‵KFC is fooling no-one. Those are contraceptives for Christmas Eve.″(@noruweijin)
condom-placemat_250x_sm

Actually, “finger nups” is not a misspelling of KFC Japan’s abbreviated/coined term “finger napkins” (フィンガーナップ)—Rather it’s a shrewd observation that most single Japanese will be spending Christmas Eve alone (3Yen / 2007-12-25) having finger NUPtials with themselves.

For Japanese, Kentucky Fried Chicken is the ideal Christmas dinner (3Yen / 2012-11-25), so this promotion starts today, December 15—details on the KFC Japan website.

 
 






AIR CHAIR BATTLE of Japanese schoolgirls

goofy Google Translate:
Two high school girls hesitating over the only vacant seat in a train lose it to a woman who sneaks in between them and takes it. Much annoyed, sparks fly as the schoolgirls stare each other down, face off, and an AIR CHAIR BATTLE ensues.

 

A few of our many posts about the amusing manners for train seats here include:

 



 


Perfect shit job for a Japanophile

Yikes! Here’s a perfect shit job for a gaijin polyglot with knee-deep knowledge of Japanese kulture…

EMOJI TRANSLATOR WANTED – LONDON FIRM SEEKS SPECIALIST
BBC News | 2016-Dec-12
A company in London has advertised for an emoji translatorexplaining cross-cultural misunderstandings in the use of the mini picturesAgency boss Jurga Zilinskiene said emojis were a "potential growth area" as "inconsistencies" had developed in their use.
Last year, a UK linguist said emoji was the country’s fastest-growing language.
More…

santa-poo-emoji

 
A few of our other shitty reports of Japanophilia include:

 



 


♬~Beginning to look like ‘Kurisumasu’

Meri Kurisumasu (メリークリスマス) aka XXX Merry Christmas from the love-Hotel Chapel Christmas

View post on imgur.com

According to DingisMcGee’s youtube, ‵‵Hotel Chapel Christmas near Narita International Airport is where Santa takes his ‘Hoe Hoe Hoe’ in Japan.″

Hotel Chapel Christmas says it’s, ‵‵Designed for adults only…guests can unwind and relax in the spacious [Christmassy] environment

_______________________
Our previous Christmassy reports of Japan include:

 






Artsy-fartsy Tokyo street ‘installation’

This looks like an artsy-fartsy “installation” of béton brut art of a Brutalist bent. (⊙_◎)


 

For exemplification, here are art projects compared to Tokyo street “installations”…
exploration-or-excoration_500x


art-or-public-works_500x

 

Our other coverage of concrete “art” of Japan includes: