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Thanks to Kotaku.com, here’s the newest way to wrap Japanese XXXmas presents—Otona Maki/おとなまき, lit. “adult wrapping”.
Ok, ok, the claim is that this a Japanese therapeutic method emulates the comfortable feel of a mother’s womb, but it obviously that its just another example of Japa-hinkiness.
Learn lurid details at Kotaku’s:
— 恵理ザベス (@erizabesutera) November 30, 2016
- Vacuum-packed Japanese (3Yen / 2012-01-24)
- Hello Kitty in clingfilm (3Yen / 2010-08-11/)
- Zentai sleeping comfort (3Yen / 2010-06-20)
Men’s Prayer Ninja Kancho Pose boxer shorts
…are a fun gift of men’s rugby uniform-style underwear from Rakuten.
Why rugby kancho underwear? Read the full rest-of-the-story in the Comments section.
Previous kancho fun on the 3Yen:
- Japan’s New Democratic kancho Party (3Yen / 2016-05-20)
- Kancho Beyond Japan’s schoolyard kancho (3Yen / 2010-10-29)
- Kan-CHO!!~ (3Yen / 2009-08-13)
- Download special Nescafé app and fire it up.
- On the BARISTA app, select the emoticon that best fits your current mood.
- Observe that your emoticon then transforms into a cute bird character (which suspiciously looks like stealth Twitter marketing) and appears on the screen at Nescafé Barista i-coffee moment ensemble machine.
- Also watch that at the same time, a wooden ball is released from the top of the wooden i-coffee moment ensemble machine instrument to play a Christmas melodies* as it rolls down striking the tuned xylophone-like steps.
- Finally, your coffee poops out of the bottom of the robo-barista
- Remove your cup and drink coffee
You can enjoy this Rube Goldberg coffee machine in Tokyo’s Harajuku from Friday, Dec. 2 to Sunday Dec. 25. Derived from popular Japanese pitagorasu/ピタゴラス/Pythagorean devices, this contraption looks like a massive coffee mug measuring about three and half meters tall and three meters wide. A wooden ball is released from the top into a staircase-shaped maze that plays Christmas songs* as it rolls downwards striking the tuned xylophone steps on its way in a whimsical and entertaining display. The contraption consists of 180 xylophone-like keys and 1450 individual parts. Its construction required approximately five months and utilized laser machining as well as a number of other frou-frou technologies.
*The Christmas songs performed are:
- We wish you a Merry Christmas
- Joy to the World
- Winter Wonderland
Our previous Christmassy reports of Japanese fun include:
- Xmas greetings from Nagoya Sweets Salami Co. (3Yen / 2016-12-18)
- ♬~Beginning to look like Kurisumasu’ (3Yen / 2016-12-11)
- End-of-the-year Japanese bonenkai drunks (3Yen / 2016-12-10)
New FINGER NUPtialS for a perfect Kentucky Christmas—according to KFC Japan
goofy Google Translate of @KFC_jp
★ “Finger nap” appeared! ★
If you are in the vicinity of a store, please try by all means ♪
Since Christmas is Japan’s biggest hot-date night (3Yen / 2005-12-14), some people have remarked that: ‵‵KFC is fooling no-one. Those are contraceptives for Christmas Eve.″—(@noruweijin)
Actually, “finger nups” is not a misspelling of KFC Japan’s abbreviated/coined term “finger napkins” (フィンガーナップ)—Rather it’s a shrewd observation that most single Japanese will be spending Christmas Eve alone (3Yen / 2007-12-25) having finger NUPtials with themselves.
goofy Google Translate:
Two high school girls hesitating over the only vacant seat in a train lose it to a woman who sneaks in between them and takes it. Much annoyed, sparks fly as the schoolgirls stare each other down, face off, and an AIR CHAIR BATTLE ensues.
A few of our many posts about the amusing manners for train seats here include:
- Japan’s ‘traditional’ train manspreading (3Yen / 2016-09-16)
- There’s always a seat next to an alien (3Yen / 2010-09-08)
- Tokyo Metro training for being seated ↙ (3Yen / 2009-09-02)
Yikes! Here’s a perfect shit job for a gaijin polyglot with knee-deep knowledge of Japanese kulture…
EMOJI TRANSLATOR WANTED – LONDON FIRM SEEKS SPECIALIST
BBC News | 2016-Dec-12
A company in London has advertised for an emoji translator…explaining cross-cultural misunderstandings in the use of the mini pictures…Agency boss Jurga Zilinskiene said emojis were a "potential growth area" as "inconsistencies" had developed in their use.
Last year, a UK linguist said emoji was the country’s fastest-growing language.
A few of our other shitty reports of Japanophilia include:
- 💩 More poo on Japan (3Yen /2016-10-20 )
- 💩 (#^_^#) + <3 = (>.< )° (3Yen / 2014-03-30)
- 💩 Pooping Christmas (3Yen / 2013-12-14)
Meri Kurisumasu (メリークリスマス) aka XXX Merry Christmas from the love-Hotel Chapel Christmas…
According to DingisMcGee’s youtube, ‵‵Hotel Chapel Christmas near Narita International Airport is where Santa takes his ‘Hoe Hoe Hoe’ in Japan.″
Our previous Christmassy reports of Japan include:
- Christmas Cthulhu? (3Yen / 2015-12-27)
- Global warming warning of Tentacle Santa (3Yen / 2012-12-11)
- Christmas songs Japanoised (3Yen / 2010-12-13)
- Deck-the-Halls with Kaiju/Monsters (3Yen / 2010-12-08)
— Thoton and the News (@Thoton) December 9, 2016
Our other coverage of concrete “art” of Japan includes:
- Japan to ban its National Tree (3Yen / 2016-02-15)
- Tokyo needs is MORE CONCRETE! (3Yen / 2014-10-03)
- Tokyo, the Ill-Machine (3Yen / 2008-01-22)